A British TV channel has commissioned an 8-metre statue of Jeff Goldblum in order to commemorate the 25th anniversary of the release of Jurassic Park.
The statue, which appears to have come direct from the uncanny valley, depicts Goldblum as chaos theorist Dr Ian Malcolm, in everyone’s favourite scene from the film. You know, this one:
don’t ask questions just enjoy
NowTV reportedly erected the statue in Potters Fields, in front of Tower Bridge, London, and also laid down fast facts about the artwork, like this one:
That’s a LOT of tea bags 😂#FunFact #JurassicJeff pic.twitter.com/lq6Gy5kos2
— NOW (@NOW) July 18, 2018
If it feels like reality is warping around you like some kind of transdimensional bubble, know that you’re not alone. This is well into Weird Shit territory.
A passerby put it best, on Twitter:
So, a massive Jeff Goldblum has appeared by Tower Bridge. Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should. pic.twitter.com/JagoWw81rC
— Tony (@funboythree) July 18, 2018
You’re quite right, Tony. They also didn’t stop to think about what Jeff Goldblum’s actual face looks like before churning out this haggard bit of nightmare fuel. The man looks like he’s Seen Some Shit.
Wait. This statue looks like it’s come directly from a nightmare dimension a la Event Horizon. Sam Neill‘s in Event Horizon. Sam Neill’s also in Jurassic Park. Is this… some kind of eldritch crossing of the universes? Are we in for mangled dinosaurs commanded by psychotic Space Sam? Or have the torments of the event horizon already infiltrated the minds of those at NowTV?
Either way: may God have mercy on us all.
