As a symbol of solidarity I am going to list for you all of the most embarrassing things that I have done in the wake of a breakup: just kidding, I would rather die. Scientists don’t fully understand what a breakup does to the brain chemistry of a human being (note: I have no idea whether this is true or not), but it is rarely ever good. Sure, you might get some useful personal growth out of one, from time to time, but largely it just makes you feel shitty and confused for a startling amount of time.
In the wake of hyper-attractive super-couple Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid calling it quits, Zayn appears to be handling it just about as well as any of us would. Presumably cast adrift by the realisation that love is impermanent and that we will likely never be able to find the sort of security and sanctuary we crave in life from other people, he’s decided to take solace in the ancient practice of getting your neck all tattooed up.
On Saturday he posted a pic of this big ol’ floral piece taking up large amounts of real estate on the back of his bonce:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BgZdzrqHyGL/?hl=en&taken-by=zayn
Which he followed up shortly with a pic of him getting what he described to be a “neck yat“, which is either a typo or I am no longer cool (I was never cool):
https://www.instagram.com/p/BgZxd7YHKZ1/?hl=en&taken-by=zayn
In a tattoo that will definitely stand the test of time, he also got his own age tattooed on his neck:
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bgel0oGHTJ6/?hl=en&taken-by=zayn
Look, buddy, absolutely no judgment. I have hand tattoos that are the initials of a band that I was in at the time before I was subsequently kicked out a few months later. The body is temporary – doing fun shit to it is also temporary, but heaps of fun.
