Impossible, I know, but according to an incredibly important story on the third and back pages of today’s Telegraph, Delta Goodrem’s far more talented but little known twin sister Epsilon Goodrem – who the vengeful Voice judge had frozen in carbonite, coated in wax and horse hair and installed at Madam Tussauds as a “waxwork lookalike” – has been made the target of a malicious “vandal scandal,” which is actually part of a guerrilla campaign to free the imprisoned sibling who was condemned six months ago to live out the remainder of her years in a wax and foundation prison after she failed to return Delta’s GHD.
The Telegraph reports that reluctant Tussauds artistes are forced by their waxen overlords (Delta, obvs) to repair Goodrem’s replica/shrine to herself on a daily basis. The dummy has reportedly received over 500 blows to its face and skin, 100 pokes in the eyes (but who’s counting?!) and extensive damage to an already woeful dress in the short period of time that has constituted her incarceration.
Studio manager Zoe Walton said she has lost 11 sets of eye lashes, had her lipstick smeared, hair pulled and mussed on a daily basis and has had to have her dress replaced after more than 50 crystals were ripped from the original prison robe.
“Delta’s definitely the most (damaged). She needs an awful lot of care and attention [and] the most TLC from staff. We all worry what she’s going to look like each day. We in the maintenance team say to each other, ‘Oh who’s going to do her today?’ It’s certainly hard work.”
The studio manager at Madame Tussauds echoed the exact same sentiments about the waxwork replica.
Should the curse of La Delta and the Sun Gods be broken, Epsilon, with her moving story of triumph over adversity and her incredible screen presence, is scheduled to replace Keith Urban or a Madden on season two of The Voice.
In other Telegraph-related Delta News, her latest album Child of the Universe received four stars which is the most stars ever.
Here is Delta pictured with poor Epsilon at her internment party.
Photos by Ryan Pierse and Torsten Blackwoods via Getty