Hey guys – yes, we’re all still talking about this.* Today brings news that each of the three runners-up from The Voice, (in height order: Darren Percival, Sarah De Yolo and Rachael ‘Palindromic Stage Name’ Leahcar) have all secured record deals with Universal Music, the same label that snapped up Karise Eden as part of her victory prize pack, and produced what I’m sure is a carefully laboured over and painstakingly produced album of entirely original content in only seven days after Eden claimed the inaugural title.
The winner’s singles each performer would have released had they taken the title will be released this Friday, with albums adhering to The Karise Formula (covers) to be released at a later date. In order of titular ridiculousness, Percival’s single is called In the Blowing Wind, De Bono’s No Shame and Leahcar’s Coming Home Again.
But wait! Isn’t this a formula (rewarding the runner-up with a same-label record deal) we’ve seen elsewhere? Why yes, it is – on every other televised singing contest ever – but most notably on the now defunct Australian Idol. Throughout the competition, I often found it handy to equate Voice contestants with previous Idol contestants from the first few seasons and as it turns out, I was right to do so. Here’s a side-by-side exercise through which we’ll try to predict the career trajectories of each Voice contestant (Karise included) based on the shortcomings of fallen Idols.
Darren Percival is to The Voice what Damien Leith was to Australian Idol
Stats: Affable, mature-aged gentlemen with a tendency toward big songs with a classic rock/contemporary adult spin.
Likes: love songs, big bands, leather jackets and suits styled to look artfully dishevelled (read: bow-ties left untied).
Appeals to: pre-menopausal women who enjoy having their heart-strings rubbed and tugged.
Predicted career trajectory: a touring spot alongside Keith Urban, great success on the RSL circuit and gig on Dancing With The Stars, season fifteen.
Rachael Leahcar is to The Voice what Anthony Callea was to Australian Idol
Stats: Pocket-sized performers with a knack for soaring, emotional ballads with inspiring song titles (see: Over The Rainbow, La Vie En Rose / Angels, Bridge Over Troubled Water).
Likes: Formal-wear, sequins, all the time.
Appeals to: Teenage girls.
Predicted career trajectory: post-show single releases of The Prayer for both singers followed by sporadic single releases and admirable ambassadorial charity work. Holy shit Anthony Callea was on Funky Squad?!
Sarah De Bono is to The Voice what Kate DeAraugo/Natalie Gauci/Ricki-Lee Coulter was to Australian Idol
Stats: So much hair. Big lungs.
Likes: Hairspray, gold, trills and scales. Probably also likes hoop earrings.
Appeals To: Aspiring young divas everywhere.
Predicted career trajectory: I see a supergroup forming with De Bono at the centre, backed reluctantly by Joel Madden and comprising Mahalia Barnes, Prinnie Stephens, and Diana Rouvas. De Bono will try and break free, try her hand at acting and presenting, release a single here and there and then pen the closing credit theme song to Sex & The City 4, Ain’t No Other Man. Will spend entire press junket denying similarities to Christina Aguilera.
Karise Eden is to The Voice what Casey Donovan was to Australian Idol
Stats: Big call, but both Karise and Casey had the all-important Story and the undeniable talent to take their respective titles.
Likes: Stealing the hearts of the nation. Nasal piercings.
Appeals to: everyone at first – the young, the disenfranchised, all their mothers.
Predicted career trajectory: I really want Karise to do great things. Everything she’s touched is turning into record sales gold at the moment and she’s sitting strong on top of the world digital and ARIA charts. But while her record sales and chart visibility puts her ostensibly within the same realm as The Beatles, Karise will have to “prove herself as an original artist” (something I’m sure Delta once said) once the milk from The Voice’s chaffed cash cow teat runs dry. Fingers crossed because this:
Photo by Ryan Pierse via Getty Images