You guys, things must be getting very serious indeed between Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris, as the singer has allowed him to talk about their relationship in a public forum.
Aside from a few immaculately-curated Instagram shots around her Fourth of July party, the only evidence of the pair’s relationship has been via paparazzi snaps.
This week, after fitting him with what we can only assume is a device that will blow up, Mission Impossible 3-style if he goes off script, Taylor finally gave Calvin permission to talk to the media.
Harris was on a UK press tour to promote his new, #OnBrand single ‘How Deep Is Your Love’ when KISS FM UK asked what it’s like rubbing his gilded genitals on those of another fabulously wealthy one-percenter.
He told them:
It’s going absolutely fantastic. It’s interesting, because obviously there’s different things written about it every day and even if we don’t do anything publicly for a while, someone will make something up.It does get more and more ridiculous, from me apparently being allergic to cats, or Taylor and I are moving in together, or we’re getting married next week.It’s a lot, but you’ve just got to take it how it is. For me, it could be a lot worse, and I’d still be like insanely happy with her, so I’m good with it.
“On the other hand, real life is happening,” he continued. “There’s a whole bunch of times where we’ve been hanging out and nobody’s clocked it. It’s not like every single time we go out, we get a photograph taken of us.”
He also noted that long-distance relationships are, indeed bullshit, but that being incredibly rich makes it easier, because they have the luxury of being able to travel easily, and “it’s really hard not to see each-other on a regular basis.”
HITS Radio – apparently UK radio stations have a throbbing boner for randomly capitalising WORDS in their names – then asked what special qualities Ms Swift possesses.
Reading from what may have been a carefully-prepared list of talking points that may or may not have included (a) being an incredible cook and (b) having human DNA, he replied:
“It’s boxes I didn’t even know existed, she ticks. It’s really ridiculous … She’s generally an incredible cook and human being.”
The most important takeaway from all this: Taylor Swift is definitely a human being and not some other weird thing, okay, you guys?
“Did Calvin do good?” he will later ask as he lies, curled up on the ottoman at the foot of Taylor’s bed. “Yes, Calvin did perfectly,” she will reply as she gently strokes his hair and stares out the window at the stars, her expression unknowable.
via Yahoo News
