Hello! We’ve got some bloody strange news to deliver to you, pals.
Whether you’re single or loved up, you’re likely aware that today is February 14th, which makes it Valentine’s Day.
So, what music do Aussies listen to while they’re having a romantic meal, or having special Mummy Daddy sheet monster time? Or, y’know, fucking each others brains out.
Spotify are apparently massive creepos, and wanted to know what YOUR sex playlist looked like. So, they collected all the data from all the playlists in Australia that have terms like ‘love’, ‘sex’, ‘Valentine’s’, and ‘Valentine’s Day’ in them, and KA-BLAMMO. We have the results.
And we’re gonna be honest, people. You lot are freaky in the sack. Galactic levels of freaky.
We’re gonna need a drumroll for this:
*drumroll*
The #1 sex song in Australia, according to Spotify is:
Cantina Band (from the ‘Star Wars: A New Hope’ Soundtrack) – John Williams
What the actual hell. I mean, John Williams is a goddamn genius, and a god amongst mere men, but CANTINA BAND? Wow. Wow wow wow.
We were immediately wary of whether some Aussie Star Wars fiends had purposely blown out the data, but then we found out that the song appears in the Top 10 Sex Songs lists on Spotify for New Zealand (#1), Great Britain (#1), Japan (#1), Canada (#3), Finland (#3) and Denmark (#5) too.
And not only that, Spotify reckons that the track topped the list “by a landslide”.
In case you were wondering, the rest of the list is entirely non ‘Star Wars’-related, and pretty much entirely what you’d expect:
- Cantina Band (from the ‘Star Wars: A New Hope’ Soundtrack) – John Williams
- Birthday Sex – Jeremih
- Sex (Cheat Codes X Kris Kross Amsterdam) – Cheat Codes
- Sex With Me – Rihanna
- Pony – Ginuwine
- Sex on Fire – Kings of Leon
- Often – The Weeknd
- Earned It (from the “Fifty Shades Of Grey” Soundtrack) – The Weeknd
- Thinkin Bout You – Frank Ocean
- Slow Motion – Trey Songz
Might this strange inclusion be because of the fabulous meme fodder that is the bloke who made a 4 hour playlist comprised of just the Cantina Band song, titled ‘Sex Playlist’?
Quite possibly. Regardless of how or why it’s happened, we are just thoroughly delighted that it happened at all.
To all of you enormous nerds: we hope you’re having a lovely V-Day, and that you have a real sexy, Cantina-licious night tonight. We hope all your climaxes feel like this:
P.S. Have a hand(s)y Spotify playlist of Top 10 Sex Songs in ‘Straya. Easy access, baby. ENJOY.
Source: Spotify.
Photo: Star Wars: A New Hope.
