Michelle Obama’s V-Day Playlist Will Either Make You Real Horny Or Real Sad

Former first lady Michelle Obama has just released a jam-packed Valentine’s Day playlist dedicated to her husband. Bless.

That’s great, and good for them, but we feel the need to issue a caveat: if you spent February 14 showered in adoration from your lover, the playlist likely would have improved your night. But if you spent the evening watching Married At First Sight alone in your pyjamas, it could have made things much, much worse.

That’s because her 44-track selection, itself a potential allusion to Barack Obama‘s status as the 44th President of the United States, is absolutely stacked with lush, slow-burning jams. Sure, Obama’s tunes feel capable of elevating the late-night mood, but for the single listener… well, nobody needs to hear Barry White while clutching a rapidly cooling bowl of Mi Goreng.

The classic voices of Etta James, Leon Bridges, and Stevie Wonder give way to more contemporary tones from John Legend and Adele. It’s a solid selection, even if there is an unexpected detour to Calvin Harris, but we still wouldn’t recommend pummelling through it unless you’re in the arms of another. Or a sucker for punishment.

Anyway, have at it. Let us know how you go.