Here’s a fashion wrap of those celebritiés who walked the red carpet and whose names and faces I know better than my own. Sorry, Austin Mahone, Fresno and Caro Emerald! Maybe next time.
Perfect teen Ariana Grande needs to check her weave because that thing is looking a little dang (I realise this probably isn’t a weave). Grande balances her follicular exuberance with a subdued, age-appropriate, red carpet ready, beige and vector lace number. She pairs it with flesh-coloured tights and the hooves of a precious unicorn. The most interesting thing you need to know about Ariana Grande is that she legitimately believes that demons walk among us and that there’s a portal to Hell in a Kansas City cemetery.
The only thing I can tell you about Chris Lee/Li Yuchun is that she often wears head to toe Givenchy on red carpets. I wouldn’t hedge my bets on this being a Tisci ensemble but it’s probably not that far off. For that reason, and because this was a pretty lame red carpet, Li-Lee warrants inclusion on this list for an exuberant, androgynous Midnight Shift/Midnight Cowboy number.
I don’t care.
For lunch today I ate a salad containing five, maybe seven different seeds, pulses, grass cuttings, grains and legumes. It was bland as balls and yet still managed to be more interesting than this silk charmeuse snore. Sure, Katy Perry almost always looks great and those are some excellent ‘darts’ but there’s a 0% chance of pyrotechnics or whipped cream theatrics erupting from this ensemble – and, you know, when in Rome.
If you ignore the beige peep-toes and Tyson Beckford’s monochromatic man-clutch, you’ve got a delicious side-eyed Ten sandwich.
This is a grown man wearing a lamé crocodile skin motif suit, sans shirt, paired with sequinned Vans; this is a woman wearing a smile that speaks of the slowly-dawning realisation of the former. That, or true love and happiness. You get yours, Azarenka.
This is a vision in three-piece oxblood poly-blend.
I don’t hate this new line-up.
Not sure if aping the Kings of Leon, pre-stylist intervention.
RJ Mitte parlays his brilliantly nuanced, heartbreaking performance in Breaking Bad into the right to wear questionable leather lapels, leather pants and a blossoming rose print scarf and no one can say anything about it.
Dat ass, however, says it all.
Just kidding, you guys! Miley Cyrus is the artist this generation deserves and Bangerz is a jam.
Yes, that’s a joint and yes, MTV censored it.
All photos by Gareth Cattermole, Ian Gavan via Getty