Lily Allen Hands Twitter Account Over To Mate After Copping Wave Of Abuse

In reality, it is a giant toilet where people will threaten to murder you if you express an even slightly differing opinion on what kind of dog is the best. The internet is, for the most part, populated by the most unhinged, violently angry people in the world, who either live startlingly convincing double lives as regular people or just never leave their houses. By a weird quirk of biology, these rat people (or “trolls”, as people call them) need to hurl abuse at someone to keep their heart going, like some weird, fucked version of ‘Crank‘.

Now, these slimy fucks have crawled out of the woodwork to have a go at Lily Allen, because she did some tweets about anti-Muslim discrimination (how awful, right). Because these assholes are the worst people alive, they decided the best way to go at her was about PTSD she experienced after the stillbirth of her child in 2010. 

Because it’s insanely hard to police this level of abuse and also Twitter is just kinda shit at it, Lily took the smart play and decided to take a break:

My timeline is full of the most disgusting, sexist, misogynistic, racist shit. Really, new levels. I’m no masochist so I’ll be back x

— Lily (@lilyallen) February 25, 2017

But not before leaving her mate Dennis in charge:

Hi , I’m Dennis,I’ll be looking after lily’s twitter for a while.I can only communicate in gif form,and I’m going on a hate blocking spree.

— Lily (@lilyallen) February 25, 2017

As promised, Dennis has been going on a wild blocking and GIF-ing spree, what a legend:

.@PogbasPubes (posted by Dennis) pic.twitter.com/evlpQLdxpW

— Lily (@lilyallen) February 25, 2017

.@SawmillLoris I am Dennis pic.twitter.com/DTVflsAA6r

— Lily (@lilyallen) February 25, 2017

.@hrtbps @Glinner (Dennis) pic.twitter.com/GMpqy8Mo3Y

— Lily (@lilyallen) February 26, 2017

.@louelli (Dennis) Do you want a refund hun ? #petty pic.twitter.com/x7keRCLYyB

— Lily (@lilyallen) February 26, 2017

Dennis: nice one, mate. We wish Lily all the best and hope these people find something else to do with their goddamn time.