Choice your poison, put your glad rags on and don your fanciest hashtags, tonight’s The Night of Nights for the Australian music industry. No, it’s not another talent show grand final – it’s the ARIA Awards! The ARIAs kick off at 7:30pm on Channel Nine’s digital channel for the youths of today, GO! and we’ll be live-blogging the whole shebang starting with the red carpet arrivals at 7:30 (they’re actually happening right now!) before the main event rears its pointy head at 8:00pm AEST.
Before then, get acquainted with the rules of the Official Non-Official 2012 ARIA Awards Drinking Game. Rules should be strictly enforced and we take no responsibility for anything ever. Cheers!
Take a drink:
If someone, anyone, references Jessica Mauboy’s ‘debutt‘, The Sapphires, or her best song ‘Burn.’
Whenever you see a guest drinking on camera. Take another shot if you’re already drinking at the same time as them.
Every time you look at the clock and think ‘When the shit is this going to end?‘
Every time you see a pathetic moustache because its nearly end of the “Movember”.
If you can’t recognise Ricki-Lee.
If Guy Sebastian wins and you are kind of glad because you quite like the song “Battle Scars“.
If you forgot about Karise Eden.
Take a shot:
Every time an expensive international guest mispronounces the name of an Australian artist/band.
If Russell Brand requires censoring during his presenting bit.
Every time you hear ‘Treaty.‘
Every time a red carpet attendee’s dress is more compelling than their public persona.
If you don’t recognise Lanie Lane (because she had a makeover).
Every time you want to shake, slap, and shave the head of Reece Mastin.
Commence a waterfall: (one person starts drinking then person next to them starts then the next and so on):
If Taylor Swift is wearing red. Because her album is called Red and she’ll probably be singing her hit single called “Red”.
If the Madden Brothers hint at their KFC endorsement. Finish your neighbour’s glass (hopefully you have a neighbour) if Benji speaks.
Die of fright/Finish your glass:
If Kimbra is wearing something subtle.
If you find yourself thinking, in spite of yourself, ‘I actually don’t mind Nicki Minaj.’
When you see Richard Wilkins’ moustache.
(This one is only for the extraordinarily piss fit) Take a drink
Any time someone from The X Factor or The Voice are on screen.
Drain the cabinet
If Gotye walks away empty handed.
Photo by Mark Metcalfe via Getty Images