Please hang onto something that’s nailed down because it’s very much looking like Rihanna is working on the next part of her total domination of our lives (and decimation of our wallets). Her company has just filed a trademark application for tableware, which can only mean one thing – Riri is gonna start making homewares.

Holy shit, yes PLEASE. For the love of God just absolutely take over my entire life with your Fenty empire, Rihanna.

Spotted by very sharp eyes overnight, Rihanna’s company Roraj Trade LLC (which also holds the trademarks for her beauty, skincare, clothing, and music) filed a trademark application for something called ‘SORRY, I’M BOOKED’ on August 6, which involves a whole buffet of goods and services including knives, forks and spoons, cookbooks (!!!), bowls, plates, BBQ gear, aprons, and hot sauce.

HOT SAUCE. RIHANNA. PLEASE I NEED IT.

Can you even imagine a Fenty hot sauce? She’d somehow develop it so it shimmers when you pour it out of the bottle and then probably blow your head clean off your shoulders with the heat. I’m so into it.

Riri loves her food, there’s no doubt about that. A couple of years ago her personal chef shared an average day of eats for the 32-year-old, which included things like curried chicken with rice, plantains, eggs, fish, and salads.

Then there was that one time she literally stopped on the side of the road in the middle of god-knows-where to get charred corn from a street vendor.

The girl knows her way around a good meal, so it kinda makes sense that her first step into entirely taking over our houses would be to begin with the kitchen. It was either that or sex toys, let’s be real. (Please Rihanna, do a collab with a sex toy company oh my god.)

Rihanna and SORRY, I’M BOOKED is also set to trademark a bunch of physical and digital media ranging over a heap of different genres like culinary and cooking, science fiction, horror, romance, music, adventure, mystery. What on earth does that mean? Is she going to start her own publication? Is Rihanna literally going to come for the media realm as well? Is she opening a library? What is happening?

Whatever all this is, I cannot wait to see where it goes when it all gets the green light.

Image: Getty Images / Lia Toby / BFC