Here’s The Real Reason Condoms Suck So Much, & You’re Not Gonna Like It

Condoms. Frangers. Rubbers. Little Richard’s Raincoats. They keep us STD-free and non-preganté, but they’re quietly cursed by almost everyone who uses them – mostly for being uncomfortable and sensation-destroying. And that nether-region numbness is having a massive effect on people’s sexual safety.

According to a recent survey, a shocking two out of three heterosexual Australian blokes didn’t use a condom during their last casual romp. A report by the Centre for Social Research in Health found that only 47% of gay and bisexual men always used condoms with casual partners.

So what the hell is going on? They’re practically the only form of contraception that also prevents the spread of STDs – surely they shouldn’t suck that much?

Welp, as it turns out, they wouldn’t have to – if only they were a little bit smaller.


Yes, according to a number of studies, the average erect penis is a full 2.5cm shorter than your standard condom – which until recently, had to be 17cm long – and that can lead to all kinds of awkward bunching, friction and loss of feeling.

A study by Indiana University found that the average dong is 14.15cm, and a full 83% of meatsticks were shorter than standard-issue frangers. An even bigger British study found that the average erect wingwang, globally, is 13.12cm – bad news for condom-wearers worldwide.

Other studies have found that 48% of young people have had condoms slip off during the deed, and 51% had a slippage issue when withdrawing. You see the problem.

Fortunately an American company called myONE Perfect Fit has started selling custom-fit cock socks in 60 sizes, all euphemistically named for maximum dignity preservation (no XXXS size here).

So order up and wrap up, mates. Two out of three! No wonder everyone’s getting syphilis again.