ALDI Is Flogging An $89 Massage Gun This Weekend & I Yearn To Pummel Myself With It

A hobbled-together home gym has probably had the biggest revival this year alongside the demand for slippers and matching tracksuits, so it’s entirely unsurprising that ALDI is jumping right into the WFH (workout from home) energy with this weekend’s special buys. But this one isn’t your bog-standard weights and ropes, the sale includes a wildly aggressive massage gun you’ve prob seen all over the place.

I’m not too sure if this is an actual muscle recovery tool or just a straight-up mini jackhammer weapon, but either way, ALDI is piffing a massage gun for a very neat $89.99, which is pretty bloody good considering they normally go for at least like $200.

aldi massage gun
Fitness Massage Gun – $89.99

I dunno about you but I have a deep desire to absolutely destroy myself and/or work out all the horrid knots in my back from working at home the last five months (?!?) with one of these bad boys. Just really go to town on all the pent-up tension I’ve got in my shoulders from all of this [waves vaguely] and just get a God damn good night’s sleep for once.

Just absolutely pummel me into the earth with this thing. Please. It’s all I want.

Not about being punched repeatedly by a tiny electric hammer thing? That’s cool. There’s likely something for you in the sacred middle aisle this weekend, with ALDI flogging spin bikes and punching bag setups for $199 each (cheap, good to work out all that built-up frustration), as well as very cheap boxing gloves and mitts.

And there’s also plenty of Voltaren gel in case you go a bit too hard and need to cover yourself head-to-toe in anti-inflammatory rub.

Both the home gym gear and the massage gun is hitting the hallowed ground of the ALDI middle aisle from Saturday, August 15, and once again a friendly reminder to take it easy when you’re shopping – keep your distance and don’t be an idiot.