There are two types of people in the world.

The ones that entertain, and the ones that observe.

6 Easy Peasy Breakfasts For People Who Bloody Hate Breakfast

just kidding that’s a Circus lyric and not at all related to this story 

No but really, there are two categories of people. There are people who love breakfast, and there are people who loathe breakfast. 

The former go to bed excited for tomorrow’s first meal. They cherish those AM bites (and probably Instagram their meals too). The latter can’t understand this behaviour. The very thought of eating as soon as they wake up makes them feel sick to their stomach.

Regardless of what side of the fence you find yourself on, you’ve probably read all about the health benefits of eating breakfast. Your Mum or Dad probably repeated the age old “It’s the most important meal of the day!” saying a million times over. Eating something in the morning before you go about your day does makes sense. Your body has just been asleep for hours and needs energy from somewhere. 

In short, breakfast can bolster concentration, reduce hunger throughout the day and, if you eat the right kinds of breakfast foods, your metabolism will get a kick up the ass as well.

But I farking hate breakfast. I have no appetite that early in the morning, I hear you drone. 

Well, here are 7 brekky ideas that are easy, healthy and tasty. The best bit? They don’t require crazy prep / an oven / other fan dangle crap – so you can easily eat them in the office.


1. PORRIDGE 

It’s as bog standard as breakfasts get, but there’s good reason for that.

Porridge is made by combining oats, water and a little milk. Oats (particularly the wholegrain kind) are filling, protein-packed and full of fibre (so them + your coffee = stress free poo poo time).

They’re traditionally made on the stove, but you can easily make them in the microwave too. 

If you’re looking to get into eating oats but you don’t know where to start, all supermarkets stock ‘quick sachets’ which are basically single serve packets you can whip up in the microwave. Stick to the regular, unflavoured oats and drizzle a bit of honey and some seasonal fruits on top, and you’ve got yourself a bang on (and cheap) breakfast meal.

Just like the Goldilocks fable, the temperature you eat your porridge at really does matter. Too hot and they’ll lacerate your mouth, too cold and it’ll feel like you’re eating uninspired sludge. Get it just right and it’s a zinging winter meal that’ll keep you full for the first half of the working day.


2. OVERNIGHT OATS 

The prep and the eating of this meal are both very satisfying.

This is the sort of thing you whip up in a jar the night before to bring into the office. It’s the kind of thing your colleagues will see and think, Dang, Craig sure does have his shit together.

The most fool-proof and yummy recipe I’ve found is this one. 

All you need to do is whack some rolled oats, skim milk, Greek yoghurt, chia seeds, honey, cinnamon and your choice of fresh / frozen fruit (blueberries are a winner here) into a jar, shake and leave overnight.

You’ll wake up to a perfectly-sweet little jar of energy to pack in your bag and eat at your desk.

(There are tonnes of variations of this recipe online, with everything from peanut butter & banana, toasted coconut and even a gluten-free carrot cake one.)


3. WHOLEGRAIN TOAST (SAVORY)

Toast mightn’t be the first thing that springs to mind when you think about eating healthy, but if it’s wholegrain, it’s great. It might have more calories than a humble vita-wheat, but it’ll also give you more energy to get through the day.

As is the case with most grains, brown always trumps white. Buy a wholegrain bread. A good rule of thumb is to get the bread with the most visible seeds in it. This usually means more fibre, and a denser texture keeping you fuller for longer.

6 Easy Peasy Breakfasts For People Who Bloody Hate Breakfast

Toast it and top it with sliced avo, tomato and cracked pepper. Or ricotta and sundried tomatoes. Or even baked beans on toast! 

If you’re doing this at work, it’s best to keep a loaf in the freezer, that way you’ll always have one on hand and it won’t go off.

4. WHOLEGRAIN TOAST (SWEET)

Contrary to popular belief, wholegrain toast works with sweet stuff too. 

If you’ve got a sweet tooth, wholegrain toast topped with peanut butter, a sliced banana and a sprinkle of honey is really satisfying. 

Be careful when choosing a peanut butter though. Most of your standard varieties are loaded with preservatives and oils. Pic’s is a blooooody brilliant brand, made entirely of crushed peanuts. You won’t miss that smooth stuff you had as a kid.


5. ZUCCHINI SLICE 

Zucchini slice is the most popular recipe on taste.com.au. More popular than chocolate muffins. Or banana smoothies.

Zucchini, to me at least, is a really nothing vegetable. What does it even taste like? Couldn’t tell you. But throw it into a baking pan with eggs, a bitta lean bacon, onion and a few more veggies and it’s flavoursome af.

6 Easy Peasy Breakfasts For People Who Bloody Hate Breakfast

It’ll only take you 45 mins in total to whip up a week’s worth. You can freeze it for later too.

Zap it in the microwave at work and you’ve got yourself a tasty serving of veggies straight up.


6. YOGHURT & GRANOLA 

This is one of the easiest meals on the list, with no prep required. But picking the right yoghurt and granola is tricky as hell.

Pick the natural, pot set and/or greek varieties. Most of the other varieties are traps. The majority of yoghurts on our shelves have more sugar than actual desserts. Fucked!

Some good ones to get you started? Allure Real Yoghurt Pot Set Low Fat NaturalJalna Pot Set Fat Free Natural Yoghurt and Chobani Greek Yoghurt Plain.


6 Easy Peasy Breakfasts For People Who Bloody Hate Breakfast

And then there’s granola. The most fool-proof way of making sure your granola isn’t a sneaky sugar bomb is to make your own. Google ‘healthy baked granola’ and pick one that tickles your fancy. This one is a good start. Again, super easy to prep on the weekend.

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