Calling bullshit on the validity of stories found in trashy tabloid rags such as New Idea is definitely not a… uhhh…. new idea… BUT we simply couldn’t go past having a solid LOL and half at the latest blatantly concocted bucket of crap masquerading as an exclusive tell-all, with a rando waitress dropping the “goss” that she’s Matty J’s “other woman”.

21-year-old Kiri Kennedy, tells New Idea she was working as a barista at Plonk Cafe on Sydney’s North Shore, which was being used as a set for this season’s ‘The Bachelor‘, in particular the scene in which Matty and eventual winner of his heart/loins Laura Byrne have their first date.

Syd Waitress Makes V. Suss Claims Matty J Asked Her Out Whilst Mid-Date With Laura21-year-old waitress Kiri Kennedy. (Pic: New Idea)

Before we go any further let’s just make it clear this is almost hundo percent where the authenticity of this story ends and the unmitigated cascade of bullshittery begins. Righto then.

Syd Waitress Makes V. Suss Claims Matty J Asked Her Out Whilst Mid-Date With Laura

Kiri goes on to tell the mag “my co-workers pointed out to me that Matty J kept looking at me between filming and smiling“, which, ok, maybe, but how often do you see that puppy-dog looking motherfucker without a cheesy grin plastered on? Dude was probably thinking about how much he likes a good pair of slacks for all we know.

The house of lies continues to be built with KK then discussing how one of the producers supposedly approached her to ASK HER OUT ON MATTY J’S BEHALF:

…a person from the production team approached me and said, “Matty is with his girl at the moment and can’t talk right now, but he would like you to hang around to meet him after she leaves”.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. There’s not a big enough “Sure Jan” gif in the world suitable for such an insanely made-up claim.

Even pretending for a moment that Matty J, then in the midst of a high-profile TV show focused on him and his choice of 21 beautiful women, would attempt to ask out a random barista, ON SET, why in the freakin’ world would a producer then go do the deed for him like it’s recess in Year 4?

Soz Kiri, your story has more holes in it than Osher’s hair salon loyalty card.

To her credit, Kiri admits she turned down this totally true offer that definitely, totally happened that one time, telling New Idea:

I decided to leave when my shift finished because in all honesty it didn’t feel right to stay. All I know is that I would be very disappointed with him if I was in his new girlfriend’s shoes.

You’ve gotta give it to her though, for getting such an audacious crock of lies into a national publication. I truly hope she gets whatever she wanted out of this little experience.

Source: New Idea
Image: Instagram / Laura Byrne