Folks, a film like this one doesn’t come along every day. It’s a rarity. A gem. A true magnum opus of the art form. Citizen Kane? Forget it. Schindler’s List? Gutter trash. The Godfather? Hot piss compared to this. My friends, put on a helmet, because you’re about to have your minds blown by the unholy majesty that is SNAKE OUTTA COMPTON.
No, you’re not reading that wrong. Yes, the film is called Snake Outta Compton. Yes, it’s *exactly* what it says on the tin.
This masterpiece, this life-altering motion picture features a burgeoning rap group in south-central Los Angeles on the verge of making it big and signing a massive record deal, when they’re suddenly forced to defend their ‘hood and their lives when an out-of-control science experiment aka A GIANT FUCKEN SNAKE runs roughshod over the area.
Hell yeah it’s a little bit Straight Outta Compton. You bloody know it’s got a bit of Snakes on a Plane to it. Absolutely it’s got a little sprinkling of Training Day thrown in for added flavour.
Shit, it’s even got a nerdy black science kid thrown in for good measure who needs to utter the phrase “did I do that?” at some point if only to prevent hoards of furious theatre goers from tearing down the walls in protest should he not.
The trailer. My god, the trailer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ytv-2Na65pc
If you, like me, are already on your way to the cinema to lineup for tickets, you should know that the film doesn’t yet have distribution. The good news is that it’s being shopped around as we speak, and with a film like that under their belts every distributor in the world should be literally backing trucks full of cash up to the studio.
They’re currently eying a mid-2018 release. That’s a relatively short wait when it comes to the MOTION PICTURE EVENT OF A FREAKIN’ LIFETIME.
Our money: Take it. Take all of it.
