Imagining the sheer amount of time and effort required to be constantly furious about women being in superhero movies is in and of itself exhausting, so lord only knows how deeply tired certain scum fuck sub-sections of the internet must be at all times. To that end, some moronic MRA deadshit has produced and is now sharing a version of Avengers: Endgame that wantonly strips most of the women from the film, and removes what the uploader refers to as the “gay shit” from the movie.
You might recall last year that MRA edge lords produced a cut down version of Star Wars: The Last Jedi that eviscerated the narrative for the sake of appeasing a select few edgelords who pissed their pants over women being allowed in space or whatever. The resultant butcher’s job of an edit ran for just 46 minutes, cut out “most shots showing female fighters/pilots and female officers commanding people around/having ideas,” and removed scenes in which Princess Leia “scolds, questions [or] demotes [Poe Dameron].”
The Endgame recut, uploaded to torrent sites by an anonymous user, takes a similar line.
The upload carries the title “De-Feminized Fanedit (Anti-Cheese Cut),” so-named because it removes Brie Larson from the movie entirely (anti-cheese? Brie? get it? got it? great).
Beyond yoinking Larson from the movie altogether, the list of amendments made to the film ranges from the mildly deranged to the outright fucking asinine. Initially, the cut edits out “most quips,” in order to “give more consistent serious tone,” which is bananas when you consider the chief complaint of that amendment is “superheroes should not be funny.”
Following that, the list gets even more cooked. In its own words, which we reprint here verbatim:
- No Hawkeye training his daughter
- No women leader conference, no gay support group talk
- Moping/Dialogue/Filler in first act severely reduced
- Any science babble that isn’t necessary to understand the story is gone. Nothing takes you out of a movie quite like pseudo-science.
- Tony doesn’t ask his wife’s permission to save the universe.
- Female sorceress gets scared of Hulk and just gives him the stone.
- Tony doesn’t meet his Dad, Thor doesn’t meet his Mom, it’s pointless.
- Sadly [Thor is] unsalvageable in general, but I did the best to make him more dignified.
- Black Panther isn’t the first revived Avenger to arrive and gets a bit less time, he’s really not that important.
- Women in final battle severely reduced. In particular Pepper has no business being there.
- In general, whenever it felt like Marvel sniffing its own farts, that part is probably gone.
A direct hit on every wedge of the asshole dartboard you can think of, really.
The listing also happens to contain a string of neo-Nazi edgelord talking points and red flags, which initially lead us to believe the torrent might be a bait-and-switch troll hiding something more sinister in the video file. Remarkably, it’s not: We viewed the file, it’s legitimate, and it sucks.
Clocking in at just 1 hour, 25 minutes and 30 seconds, the cut manages to erase more than half the film’s runtime, which in and of itself is a remarkable effort. A truly demented one, sure. But a remarkable one nonetheless.
Imagine having the time to be this mad about something. Good grief.