Why a pickle is more popular than Nickelback

Here at Pedestrian, we understand that we may never be able to answer life’s tough questions. Does God exist? Is there life after death? Where do babies come from? All of these are just too difficult to even begin to comprehend. We can however, answer the age-old query of whether or not a pickle is more popular than Nickelback. The answer, a resounding: fuck yes!

In the weekend just gone, a Facebook group called “Is a pickle more popular than Nickelback?”, started by a genius named Coral Anne, reached its goal of attaining 1.4 million fans. The Christian-rock band had a few less, at 1.38 million (something else we can’t explain).

I for one, think it was actually a very unfair comparison in the first place. Perhaps it should’ve read, “Is Ivan Milat more popular than Nickelback?” But even then, Nickelback would’ve had a run for their money. Therefore, it’s not at all surprising that a preserved, stick of salty fun, is more popular than this heinous band.

Pickles are great. They’re savoury and satisfying, low-fat, and a key component of a great cheese burger. If one does not like said pickles, they are easily removed from one’s meal. The same however, cannot be said for Nickelback; a group whose sound grates on your nerves, and rings in your ears, long after you’ve performed the anxiety-induced, quick flick of your radio from Triple M to Triple J.

They are, without a doubt, in the same genre as Creed and Evanescene. That is, bands that have forced some of us to consider a van Gogh ear removal moment.

This whole scenario has made me love Facebook a little bit more. The fact that we have a cyber community where a group can pit a preserved vegetable against a rock band, sure is wonderful. I’m so inspired that I’m starting a new group called- “Is a cocktail onion more popular than Miley Cyrus?”

I’ve got a fifty on the onion.