Every word of the above headline is correct and true, and represents a real thing that is happening in the year of our lord two-thousand-and-sixteen.
Shane Warne, currently entrenched in the three-and-a-half star luxury that is the TV production cleared section of the South African “jungle” for Channel Ten‘s human zoo experiment known as ‘I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!‘ is apparently fully aware that an idle penis is the Devil’s ding-a-ling.
Warne, pictured above getting the closest to a pussy that he’s been in literally months…
…has somehow managed to hook himself up a date worthy of a bottle of spumante and a So Fresh Hits of the late 90s compilation.
Thanks to a hook-up from fellow jungle resident Havana Brown, Warne now has a hot date with Carmen Electra. Yes, former Baywatch actress and former beau of both Dennis Rodman and Dave Navarro. That Carmen Electra.
Thanks to a radio interview, Electra was apparently able to send text messages to Warne in the jungle and the two agreed to meet up, after Brown initially made the connection.
Warne, never one to play a groin-angling delivery on anything other than the front foot, seemed rather chuffed about the whole thing when talking to fellow show contestants.
“It is on, isn’t it? As soon as we get out of here, I will try to make it happen. Is this the start of something special? That is a very interesting question. Nothing would surprise me with my life. If it does, great, it is all a bit of fun. Let’s just see what happens.”
For what it’s worth, other members of the Celebrity class of 2016 seemed impressed by Warnie’s lothario efforts, with Paul “The Chief” Harragon stating:
“If that doesn’t blow you out of the water, nothing does. Here he is in the jungle and he’s organising to meet up with Carmen Electra so get that into you.”
Get that into you indeed.
Brown, who is LA-based, met Carmen Electra previously and has reportedly hung out with her socially in the past.
“She is a pretty hot chickaroo, isn’t she. That’s my new profession; you can come to me to be hooked up with famous people.”
A pretty hot chickaroo.
Chickaroo.
Somewhere, the editor of That’s Life! magazine is breathing a sigh of relief, having finally locked in the cover for their June 1998 edition.
Photo: Channel Ten.
