If you would be so kind as to take a small moment from your day, from all this heaviness, to just look at the size of this lad. This bat, it’s fucken huge. It’s a god-damned massive night-time flappy boy and I simply cannot stop thinking about him. It’s been a minute since I first saw The Giant Bat, and it’s taken up as much space in my brain as an enormous bat can.

It might look fake as hell but this here batty is a giant golden-crowned flying fox, and are endemic to the Philippines. There’s no other way to explain them, they’re just huge-ass bats that sometimes will come and have a snooze RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR HOUSE.

The giant flying fox is known as a “megabat” (you can fucken say that again) and they’re up there with some of the heftiest lads on the planet. The average golden-crowned megabat weighs around 1.4kg, and can have a wingspan of up to 1.7m across. That’s literally longer than I am tall, which is fucking terrifying, thank you very much.

And understandably, people have been losing their minds about this absolute unit for the last couple of weeks since it was first posted.

Though the giant bat babies have got these huge-ass wingspans and look like they’d go you if you weren’t careful enough, they mostly eat fruit, with figs apparently being their go-to source of food.

Big ol’ batty went bloody viral online over the last couple of weeks, absolutely scaring the pants off plenty of people who’d never heard of them before. I guess that’s a pretty nice little bit of awareness for an animal that’s been historically hunted by poachers and is now very much an endangered species.

Either way, it’s a fucken huge bat. You simply cannot deny it.

He is large, and I love him.

Image: Twitter