There are three distinct tribes on the internet right about now, and all of ’em can be defined by their reaction to the infuriatingly familiar pain inflicted by The Bachelorette’s finale.
Simply put, Georgia Love chose Lee Elliott over Matty Johnson, despite Channel 10’s best efforts to expend our emotional energy on the idea of a blissful GeorMatt LovSon union.
As a result, one segment of the show’s audience is exhibiting ruthless pragmatism: they reckon Matty J is a deadset contender to host The Bachelor, because recycling reality show personalities remains surprisingly effective.
That kind of thinking is level-headed, but look: right now is where we get to delve deep into the emotional impact of Love’s decision.
We here at PEDESTRIAN.TV don’t actually feel anything RN – this show has nuked us – but we’d be remiss not to recognise the second tribe, composed of those who do feel a searing and oh-so-recognisable loss at this development:
— elz (@elianrothschild) October 27, 2016
— Michael Beveridge (@mickyb273) October 27, 2016
FINE PICK THE BORING ONE, LOVE WON’T MIND, IT’S ALREADY DEAD #BacheloretteAU
— Jo Thornely (@jothornely) October 27, 2016
matty j: “cya georgia love.”
— molly the scammer (@peechylin) October 27, 2016
— Maddy Booth (@boothmaddy) October 27, 2016
— Courtney Gould (@heyycourtt) October 27, 2016
2016 IS THE YEAR WHEN LOVE DIED AND MY HEART WAS COMPLETELY SHATTERED MORE THAN ONCE #BacheloretteAU
— ELIZAJANE (@elizaajanne) October 27, 2016
By contrast, the third group is curiously optimistic about the whole thing. After all, until we find out otherwise, Matty J and that enviable swoop of beaut brown hair is on the market:
— john_ques (@john_ques) October 27, 2016
— iamjosh (@outbacknt) October 27, 2016
— — ?? (@xAdrinalin) October 27, 2016
Will matty j now accept my Instagram follow request please I’ve been waiting for WEEKS #BacheloretteAU
— Jacob Ghoul-ard ?? (@gillardjacob) October 27, 2016
We eagerly await Guy Sebastian’s take on this ordeal. Seriously, guide us, Guy – we don’t know what to feel. We don’t know if we can feel.
Photo: The Bachelorette / Tenplay.