How do you grow the most impressive face rug you can? The facial hair technicians from awesome Australian thing which became awesome global thing Movember have enlisted the advice of the most masculine force on the internet and person who no one can extricate from the fictional character he plays on television, Parks and Recreation star Nick Offerman. Best known round these parts as Ron “Fucking” Swanson, Offerman provides an easy to follow video guide which promises maximum mustache growth through testosterone-inflating leisure activities like smelling wood, capturing a lower life form or eating a raw onion.

The month-long charity event raises money, awareness and support for men’s health issues with special focus on prostate cancer (for the Prostate Cancer Foundation Australia) and depression (for Beyond Blue). And if you still want more advice, you can check out Pedestrian’s guide to the top five mustaches in pop culture history by last year’s not so hirsute local ambassadors Benjamin Law and Clem Bastow.