Rob Lowe, former ‘Parks and Recreation‘ star and noted douchebag, is looking for a personal assistant.

This of course presents us with a wonderful opportunity to see the Real Rob. The veil of celebrity so rarely allows past the heavily curated social media presences, the strictly controlled interviews, and the occasional arrest and/or public meltdown, but a P.A. job description cuts straight through that. As the saying probably goes, you can’t know a man until you see what the other man has to pick up after him.

So who is the Real Rob? How will his assistant be spending their day?

As per TMZ, the successful applicant will be required to: 

  • Never assume anything
  • Ensure the CLIENT [Rob] is fed and has coffee throughout the day
  • Schedule haircuts every episode for the CLIENT
  • Ensure that the CLIENT HAS A DINNER PLAN IF ARRIVING HOME LATER THAN 8 PM in the evening
  • Make sure you let Estate staff know if the CLIENT wants a Jacuzzi turned on or a massage ordered for his arrival
  • Willing to travel on location as requested and serve as the CLIENT’S body man
  • Able to lift up to 25 pounds (11kg) as required to support THE CLIENT 

The important question, aside from the obvious one of does Rob Lowe have an 11kg dong, is just how much is Rob Lowe willing to pay his Jacuzzi-turn-er-on-er-er / body man? A nice and tidy $US 70k ($92k). Not bad work if you can get it.

His team, of course, deny that the job listing on a website targeting personal assistants is in fact for him, but did confirm that “coffee is his number one priority in life”, which sounds just about fucking right.

Photo: Getty / Jamie McCarthy.