Nicole Kidman’s “Grace Of Monaco” Hilariously Punted At Cannes

The future of Australia’s status as go-to nation for actresses to star in movies about European princesses is looking majorly shaky this morning. Nicole Kidman‘s new film Grace of Monaco, about the royal formerly known as Grace Kelly, debuted at Cannes and – according to early reviews – it’s somehow even worse than Naomi WattsDiana.

If any glossy princess movie could’ve got a pass at Cannes, it’s Grace of Monaco, given that the film festival itself is the backdrop for Grace Kelly meeting her future husband, Prince Rainier III of Monaco, in 1955.Except, welp, no: The Guardian called it a “breathtaking catastrophe” and”so awe-inspiringly wooden that it is basically a fire-risk”; Variety described it as an “agonizingly airless and contrived… cardboard and frequently cornball melodrama”; while the Hollywood Reporter‘s choice of reference points says perhaps more than anyone about how bad this film is: “the comically absurd climax comes perilously close to the “pussies, dicks and assholes” speech at the end of Team America: World Police.” Yeesh.

The critiques come after the Royal Family of Monaco attacked the film for inaccuracies and US distributor The Weinstein Co. threatened not to release the current European edit. Provided that doesn’t happen, you’ll be able to catch it in cinemas here on June 5 – although we’re guessing you probably won’t.