Miley Kindly Asks To Be Left Alone So She Can Pash Cody Simpson In Peace

Miley Cyrus, Cody Simpson

Miley Cyrus has seemingly confirmed that she and Cody Simpson are an item, politely asking to be left alone by paparazzi and fans so she can pash off with the renowned hat-wearer in peace.

Overnight, there were reports that Cyrus was spotted at the supermarket with Simpson, and that the two shared a “quick kiss” as they left. They were also seen together at LA’s Backyard Bowls.

When photos and videos of the two began circulating, the singer took to her Instagram stories to ask: “Can a girl not get a fucking açaí bowl and a morning make-out session in peace ?!?!”

She went on to list Cody’s various attributes, saying that he’s 22, Australian (her type) and has abs – these are all extremely superficial qualities but I’m a superficial bitch so I say get it, Miley.

A short time later, she shared a photo grid in which her own image was placed among celebrated Hollywood womanisers like George ClooneyJohn Mayer and Marlon Brando.

She captioned the image “legends only”. The energy that this has is very much like Taylor Swift saying she’d be just like Leo if she was a man, and we enthusiastically support it.

Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus recently split from husband Liam Hemsworth, also a noted Australian with abs. She was briefly seeing Kaitlynn Carter, but the two have reportedly gone back to being pals.

She and Cody have been friends since 2015, when she helped him adjust to life after being thrust into the spotlight at a young age. He said of her:

“Miley is one of my best friends and she helps with some of that transitional stuff – trying to escape your childhood. She’s super open-minded and I’m working on becoming more like that.”