The 2002 classic Crackerjack, starring Mick Molloy, Judith Lucy and Samuel Johnson, is an undeniably horny movie.
It’s the story of Jack (Molloy) and his efforts to retain free parking at the Cityside Lawn Bowls Club, where he is a member despite never playing a game. When the club institutes the rule that members must play, he discovers he’s a lawn bowls savant, and contributes to the effort to save the club from becoming a pokies venue. A perfect film, from start to finish.
I can’t be the only one who found herself uncomfortably titillated by the image of an overweight Mick Molloy in bowling whites (and if that version of Mick Molloy does nothing for you, think his sexual gravitas as Kim’s skeezy dad in Kath and Kim). And if that doesn’t do it for you, may I suggest sassy Judith Lucy puffing on a cigarette or Samuel Johnson charming old ladies. Hot Australian icons every one.
So you’ll understand how pleased I was to find a new interview with Molloy on The Herald Sun’s SACKED: Showbiz podcast, where he cops to being a single man waiting for an eligible woman to slide into his Instagram DMs.
In the podcast, released last week, the 54-year-old said he’s happy being single, focusing instead on his plum Triple M radio gig and caring for his eight-year-old twin sons.
“I haven’t given up completely, of course, but this is the world I’m living in, and I’m really happy,” he said. “That said ladies, if there’s any degree of interest out there at all, I’m on Insta.”
We won’t be able to find Australia’s Most Eligible Bachelor™ on dating apps either. “You can’t do it because you look like an idiot. There’s no point, but that’s the way these days. You can’t even get a shag at work.”
Mick Molloy reckoned he wouldn’t be very popular on the apps, because he’s not what he perceives women on those apps are looking for – a man who “can do 25 burpees” and “drink limoncello”. I’ll drink enough limoncello for the both of us, babe.
Even if we won’t find Mick Molloy on Bumble, that Instagram comment still sounds promising. Go forth, ladies braver than I am, and take your shot at the king. Godspeed.