In news that you were already aware of: Bachelor in Paradise couple Megan Marx and Jake Ellis announced their split last week, each sounding off about the other as being ‘big-hearted’ and “beautiful and intelligent“. Very healthy and adult.

Ever since, the tabloids have been speculating on the reasons behind the couple’s split, from The Daily Tele‘s conjecture that the timing could have been calculated to correspond to the first casting calls for season two of Paradise, to NW‘s thin argument that Marx may have dumped Ellis for fellow lovesick Islander Elora Murger. They even quoted a mysterious source who said nothing of the sort:

Jake was looking at apartments for himself and Megan to move into together, but they were clearly having problems. He was in love with her, and while he trusted Megan with all his heart, in the back of his mind he was always wondering if he was enough for her.

Mmm, conclusive.

Adding fuel to the gossip flame was the Daily Mail, who spotted Marx and Ellis hanging out at a bar in Broadbeach together in Married at First Sight‘s Ryan Gallagher‘s Insta Stories over the weekend.

Marx has had it up to here with the theories, posting a lengthy response to Instagram explaining exactly why none of this is any of your (or my) business.

In the post, she explains that her and Ellis had agreed “not to get nasty, not to use media as a way to get ahead, to remember the good over the bad, [and] to give one another space but stay as close as is reasonable in hard circumstances“.

Instead Marx is focusing on herself – the ocean, meditation, reading, travel, etc – and is determined to keep the reasons for their split private, because they’re just like everyone else, wanting to keep their “raw heartbreak… as hidden as possible, to not only save face but to protect those involved“.

When Jake and I broke up we agreed on a few guidelines and principles. To not get nasty, to not use media as a way to get ahead, to remember the good over the bad, to give one another space but stay as close as is reasonable in hard circumstances. It’s unfortunate that the media (knowingly or not) try to wring out the respect and care people have for each other. It’s hard not to be paranoid and too much in your head, it’s hard not to respond to ridiculous claims that attack someone you want the best for and hard not to try to defend yourself. I’m trying to deal with this in an adult way, without slinging shit and I’m proud to have dated someone who has the same diplomacy and respect in an incredibly emotional situation. J will find his girl, and I will find my girl or guy too when I am ready to date. The future is a mystery. As hard as this all is, I remain optimistic – bringing life back to the basics – ocean times, meditation, road trips, riding my bike, reading and watching interesting documentaries, booking international trips with old friends. I’ve never wanted to disappoint the public with the privacy of our break up, but just like most people – the raw heartbreak you want to keep as hidden as possible, to not only save face but to protect those involved ????

A post shared by Megan Marx (@megan.leto.marx) on

Here’s the full post:

When Jake and I broke up we agreed on a few guidelines and principles. To not get nasty, to not use media as a way to get ahead, to remember the good over the bad, to give one another space but stay as close as is reasonable in hard circumstances.

It’s unfortunate that the media (knowingly or not) try to wring out the respect and care people have for each other. It’s hard not to be paranoid and too much in your head, it’s hard not to respond to ridiculous claims that attack someone you want the best for and hard not to try to defend yourself.

I’m trying to deal with this in an adult way, without slinging shit and I’m proud to have dated someone who has the same diplomacy and respect in an incredibly emotional situation.

J will find his girl, and I will find my girl or guy too when I am ready to date. The future is a mystery.

As hard as this all is, I remain optimistic – bringing life back to the basics – ocean times, meditation, road trips, riding my bike, reading and watching interesting documentaries, booking international trips with old friends.

I’ve never wanted to disappoint the public with the privacy of our break up, but just like most people – the raw heartbreak you want to keep as hidden as possible, to not only save face but to protect those involved Megan Marx & Jake Ellis Do Not Have To Explain To You Why They Broke Up

This is the post that I thought and hoped I would never ever have to write. Megan and I are sadly taking a break from our relationship together and words will never express the heartbreak I’m feeling right now. No matter what you believe, our relationship was as real and beautiful as they come, I love her wholeheartedly. Megan is and always will be the best part of me, the most beautiful and intelligent woman I’ve ever had the privilege of loving, my best friend. I wish with all of my heart that this wasn’t happening right now but the only thing I can hope for is that one day soon we will rekindle our special love and come back together stronger than ever before – but unfortunately that time is just not right now. I will always hold that hope. ???? #devastated

A post shared by Jake Ellis (@jakeellis86) on

You wanna know what this means? They probably split for the same sad, normal reasons everyone does, rather than because of some scandal: you’re in different places in your life rn; you realise you’re more like mates than romantic partners; over time you’ve drifted apart; you don’t live in the same city or someone travels a lot and it becomes too difficult to maintain the relationship; someone just really needs the space and time to work through their own baggage; you just can’t keep having the same argument over and over again with nothing ever changing; you’ve been offered a big job or study opportunity and so your priorities shift and it’s not about them anymore; or maybe you’re just fundamentally incompatible.

Whatever the reason that shit is private and heartbreaking – yet so incredibly mundane and everyday – and maybe it just so happens a whole bunch of reality TV couples are reaching that point at a similar time.

One cool thing we can totally learn from this though: it is totally possible to stay mates and go out drinking with your ex.

Heck, fellow former Bachie contestant Courtney Dober did the very same thing himself over the weekend, going for food with his former international Bachie Winter Games squeeze, Lily McManus:

Mate Date. #brosbeforehoes

A post shared by Courtney Dober (@courtneydober) on

Image: Instagram / @megan.leto.marx