MASTERCHEF DRAMA: We Need To Discuss Matt Preston’s Glorious Magenta Suit

By

Cam Tyeson

Published

We’re taking a little moment from our regularly scheduled program of snarky recaps (although pls keep reading them, for your clicks sustain my bitter soul) to talk about a thing that happened on last night’s chaotic episode of MasterChef Australia.
No, it wasn’t anything to do with the challenge itself – although that said I did channel my burning inner frustration into making this spicy meme…
No, instead we need to talk about Matt Preston. And, specifically, his continual sartorial choices, which inarguably reached peak last night with this fetching little number.
Check out all his majesty. Tall. Strong. Resplendent in head-to-toe magenta, looking less like a nationally renowned food critic and more like the fanciest plantation owner in all the Mississippi Delta.
Here he is mingling amongst the commoners for a photo opportunity, to show off an air of being in touch with the common cretin.
It’s also interesting to note that, with that sunhat and dress combo, Nigella Lawson wound up looking like Preston’s saucy wife who unbeknownst to everyone has been secretly having it off with the young stable boy every night.
Maybe I’ve thought too much about this.
Regardless, I definitely wasn’t the only one whose eye was caught by the perfectly tilted fedora, the dangling fob watch, and the immaculately pressed everything. Not even close.
Some noted a striking similarity between Preston and Governor Ratcliffe from ‘Pocahontas‘…

…others noted the resemblance to a certain employee of Ronald’s House of Flavour…

…some people (even a current MasterChef contestant) thought he might be better suited to classic children’s television…

…whilst others simply went for a wide array of on-point gags.

Joke of the night, however, went to our good m8 Osher Günsberg in a canter, purely for the vivid amount of detail that went into this glorious mental picture:

Not to be outdone by anyone commenting from the sidelines, however, Matt Preston himself got ahead of the curb with his own trademark brand of self-deprecating humour.

And yet even despite all of this, all I can think of is “where?“

Where do you get these ridiculous and amazing outfits from, Matt Preston you sharp-dressed bastard?
Do you get a regular suit and soak it in food dye?
Has the Channel Ten wardrobe department acquired old outfits from ‘Dancing With The Stars‘?
Do you just roll up large on a Spotlight and shout “FUCK ME UP, FAM“?
I WILL LEARN YOUR SECRETS, MATT PRESTON. YOU MARK MY WORDS.

Photo: Channel Ten.

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