MasterChef Australia: The Weekly Serve – The Spanish Imposition

The latest update from Pedestrian’s number one MasterChef Australia reporter, Katie Head, on the unbearable arrogance of Jay and the most inconvenient cause for complaint in the show’s history to date: the contestants’ requirement to actually be good cooks….

Last night, Masterchef Australia grabbed the bull by the horns and a whole lot of other Spain-related puns in celebration of a SUPER SIZED Spanish-themed SUPER invention test. Olé.

In the week that was, bloody Jay got to cook for bloody immunity again and thank god he bloody didn’t get it on Tuesday. His arrogance has reached peak level for me and I want him gone. Wednesday night’s frozen and canned food cook-off saw Billy and Shannon victorious and Kumar and Andrew in the bottom two.

Jay; the personification of irritating:

In a brilliant show of subtle racism, Andrew (white) was worried about cooking Massaman curry (Thai) against Kumar (Sri Lankan) in Thursday’s Pressure Test because obviously all curries come from the same place – even though Andrew professed to cook Massaman regularly and Kumar had never made it in his life. When Kumar won the challenge I fist-pumped. BYE ANDREW.

Bye annoying Andrew:

[Side note: I think the challenges that are being doled out this season are hugely enjoyable and definitely harder than previous seasons. As they should be – the contestants have had a two-year advantage in preparing themselves for their time in the amateur-cook spotlight and the weekly challenges they face need to reflect that.]

Last night, the contestants got to choose from 3 x Spanish core ingredient combos and had 75 minutes to come up with one muy bueno dish. The combos were Lamb & Anchovies, Sherry & Oranges or Squid & Chorizo.


Once contestants had picked their core ingredient duo plus 15 pantry items, 90% of them were looking super smug about the impending task ahead.

Don’t you guys know by now smugness NEVER prevails? Cue George and Gary orchestrating the Great Basket Swap of 2011. That’s right, everyone had their carefully considered ingredients replaced with a whole set of new ones and approximately 60 seconds to have a nervous breakdown, shake their fists at the cunning judges and come up with a new plan. THINKING ON YOUR FEET? Unheard of.

BEST DISH – Michael, aka Cuddly Guy who looks like a teddy bear and his trio of juicy looking lamb tapas. Actual best dish of the night was Danielle, aka Rockabilly Chick who wowed the judges with some “inspired” saffron salt and capsicum sauce. Gotta love a good condiment.

WORST DISH – Jay’s disastrous churros. You get this sense this dude has only fared well so far because he’s committed a whole bunch of recipes to memory and this Spanish style-dessert was not one of them. Suck it, Jay.

Bummed judges:

WHO CRIED – Ellie. Again. Poor Ellie – she was really overwhelmed by the challenge and is starting to doubt her abilities to the max. Wish Rachel, AKA Mum Figure had gone and given her a hug. Also hope Ellie gets her confidence back for tonight’s Pressure Test against Jay and Dani, just like she did in the Bombe Alaska challenge, she fricking nailed that.

Ellie cries to George’s great pleasure:

WHO DIDN’T GET ANY AIRTIME? – Adam, Alana, Peter, Hayden, Kumar, Billy, Sun, Rachel, Kate, Craig – i.e. these guys had NO chance of being in either the top or the bottom of the pack last night.

QUOTE OF THE NIGHT – “There is three pairs of core ingredients”. Is there, George ‘Grammar-god’ Calombaris?

Until next week, amigos!