Mariah Carey Demanding Hot Tea Onstage On NYE Is 2018’s First & Worst Meme

It’s pretty clear that 2018 is going to be a year of unimaginable global horror, the scale of which will have us crawling back to 2017 and begging for its comparatively chill horror. But amongst all that, we’ll have memes. Thousands and thousands of hot, fresh memes which will act as a temporary salve for our spiritual torment in the lonely, atomised existence of postmodernity.

And even the most seasoned and credentialed meme scientist would be hard-pressed to find a 2018 meme which happened before this one. Mariah Carey redeemed her bungled 2016 NYE performance with a significantly better one this year – punctuated by an expectedly diva-like demand for some hot tea.

“They told me there would be tea,” she said on stage, looking genuinely perplexed. “Oh, it’s a disaster. Okay, well, we’ll just have to rough it. I’m going to be like everybody else, with no hot tea.”

A huge ask, to perform with absolutely zero hot tea. Hopefully the evening will be somewhat redeemed by the fact she received an estimated $3.5 million for performing for ten minutes (admittedly sans any kind of tea, hot or otherwise).

If the millions of dollars wasn’t enough, she did in fact find some tea.

The frantic, scrabbling masses, who had neither hot tea nor $3.5 million, were instead glad to receive what was either the last meme of 2017 or the first one of 2018. I’ll let more experienced meme aestheticians and philosophers determine its exact temporal value in the comments.

Petition granted, Brianna. Petition granted. Here’s hoping 2018’s meme haul is more bountiful than just this.