It’s pretty clear that 2018 is going to be a year of unimaginable global horror, the scale of which will have us crawling back to 2017 and begging for its comparatively chill horror. But amongst all that, we’ll have memes. Thousands and thousands of hot, fresh memes which will act as a temporary salve for our spiritual torment in the lonely, atomised existence of postmodernity.
And even the most seasoned and credentialed meme scientist would be hard-pressed to find a 2018 meme which happened before this one. Mariah Carey redeemed her bungled 2016 NYE performance with a significantly better one this year – punctuated by an expectedly diva-like demand for some hot tea.
Ugh don’t you hate it when you have to be just like ‘everybody else’ with no hot tea
Feel you, Mariah pic.twitter.com/ZbgKlMB29I
— Lester, The Writer (@TheLesterLee) January 1, 2018
“They told me there would be tea,” she said on stage, looking genuinely perplexed. “Oh, it’s a disaster. Okay, well, we’ll just have to rough it. I’m going to be like everybody else, with no hot tea.”
A huge ask, to perform with absolutely zero hot tea. Hopefully the evening will be somewhat redeemed by the fact she received an estimated $3.5 million for performing for ten minutes (admittedly sans any kind of tea, hot or otherwise).
If the millions of dollars wasn’t enough, she did in fact find some tea.
Found my tea! 🍵 pic.twitter.com/r5EIIbT5Zw
— Mariah Carey (@MariahCarey) January 1, 2018
The frantic, scrabbling masses, who had neither hot tea nor $3.5 million, were instead glad to receive what was either the last meme of 2017 or the first one of 2018. I’ll let more experienced meme aestheticians and philosophers determine its exact temporal value in the comments.
Last Line of 2017:
“They told me there’d be hot tea.”
– Mariah Carey
— Gabe Erwin (@gabe) January 1, 2018
https://twitter.com/ditzkoff/status/947689579477458944
If Mariah Carey can make it through that performance without her hot tea, then I can make it through another year
— jaden (@jadenalana) January 1, 2018
The first time life throws you a curve in 2018 just remember: Mariah Carey made it through without her hot tea. You can make it through too.
— Jason Pederson (@ArkyJason) January 1, 2018
Let’s all join hands and pray for the dude who forgot to bring Mariah Carey her tea.
— Joshua DuBois (@joshuadubois) January 1, 2018
honestly, best way to sum up 2017:
“They told me I would get my hot tea. What a disaster.”
-Mariah Carey
— Diana (@dmincolla) January 1, 2018
Petition to make Mariah Carey asking for hot tea the first meme of 2018
— Brianna (@bri_rutledge) January 1, 2018
Petition granted, Brianna. Petition granted. Here’s hoping 2018’s meme haul is more bountiful than just this.
