As Tamara said on on tonight’s final episode of Married At First Sight: “Karma’s a fucking bitch, isn’t it?” And holy shit it was because Jess – after how many weeks of spinning her bullshit – came completely undone after the producers decided to show footage of her hitting on Nic in front of everyone and the entire country. This delicious bit of reality telly came right after Jess sat her ass on that couch and said everything was bloody fantastic in Jess and Dan world even though they hadn’t seen each other since filming wrapped – that’s six whole weeks.
You’d think that after being exposed, Jess would be like ‘Ah fook, this ain’t worth the followers’ and own up to hitting on Nic but NO. She denied the entire thing despite the footage being right there and Nic saying, ‘Uh, oh, uh, nah, yeah, nah, nah, nah I don’t wanna say… nah yeah she hit on me’. Even Ines and Liz had a nice moment on the couch before their 15 minutes came to an end.
Not to mention, about five seconds after hitting on Nic, JESS SITS NEXT TO DAN AND DOES THE EXACT SAME THING.
“Dan was third rung on the ladder. She’s going for anyone mate, that’s all it is,” Mick says about four beers down.
Cyrell, in case you forgot she was still in the room, tells Jess after the footage plays, “Your legs are like 7-Eleven, they’re open for business 24/7.”
Jesus fucking Christ, Cyrell.
The experts attempt to stop her but HA, NOPE.
“Just be honest, Jess,” Dan says sensing the end is nigh. “Just be honest.”
“I am being honest,” she insists. “I never was interested in Nic and I was never propositioning Nic, no.”
“I’m interested in Nic,” Jess tells Martha.
“Yes I do find Nic very attractive, I am sexually attracted to Nic, he is a very good looking guy.”
MEANWHILE, ON TWITTER.
You know you’re screwed when your own network shits on you.
Even after the footage was played shes denying it. Jess makes bricks look intelligent #MAFS— Mylanta Mercy (@JLapin1) April 8, 2019
Jess: Our r/ship is so wonderful. I’m so delighted. He’s such a wonderful father.— Pip Coomes (@PipCoomes) April 8, 2019
Expert: Have you ever seen him in any capacity as a father?
Expert: Have you ever seen him when there were no cameras?
Jess: No BUT I’m so happy to be back in front of a camera #MAFS
This episode is literally the equivalent of throwing a mentos into a softdrink and closing the lid #MAFS— hi im jess (@jessal_21) April 8, 2019
And it all came to an end with Jules and Cam on the couch – MAFS‘ only successful couple.
What a bloody ride.
If you’re already having withdrawals: