For our MAFS 2024 Episode 22 recap, it’s retreat time! Time for everyone to get their kit off and hopefully not smash glasses, fists or otherwise at the picnic table.
Following last night’s Commitment Ceremony, where Jack admitted Tori was more into him than he was into her, Jono and Lauren think the experiment’s most controversial groom might be setting Tori up for a dumping.
Jack is being defensive and feels like he “was railed” by the experts.
He weasels his way out of another one by blaming the way be spoke under pressure.
“Jack needs to work on articulation,” says Tori.
I have some good news: we won’t be revisiting the retreat house with the piano bed thing for yet another year. Oh goody! Something new and different for us!
We will instead be traversing to the land of crystals, hippies, Hemsworths and “shower-dodgers” — none other than Byron Bay.
But first, we have bad news for our beautiful gay couple! Stephen flirted with a hairdresser during his publicity shoot and even continued to message him.
Stephen tells Michael that he felt a spark with the hairdresser that he doesn’t feel with his husband.
“No matter how many exercises you’re given, if it’s not there I don’t know how to get it there,” Stephen explains.
Fair. IRL we’d just call it after the first or second date and move on to the next.
Stephen thinks they have a good friendship which pisses Michael right off. He puts his wedding ring on the table and walks out, which Stephen thinks is a bit dramatic. I’m not sure, I’m more focussed on his shirt.
It’s retreat time (which Stephen and Michael have somehow decided to attend) and Lucinda is beyond excited to drop some intention, fun, connection, adventure and laughs into a cauldron.
Timothy, however, is excited about the drama. He summons Sara and Lauren for a chat and instead of banging his fists, he bangs his head instead.
He proceeds to tell them that Tori’s “a top chick” which is a head-fuck for everyone watching at home, surely.
The same woman who compared your comments to Jack’s comments? The one who got angry at you for having a… face?
Yep, that one! Timothy thinks Jack is going to dump her under a tree at the end of this.
“If he’s really into Tori, why in Week 1 would Jack show me pictures of his ex and how hot she is?” Timothy asks.
Now Sara has something she would like to share with the class! She said when she and Tim were walking away from the gym, Jack touched her butt — but she doesn’t know if it was purposely or accidental.
Then she said when Jack apologised to her at the last dinner party, he kissed her… neck.
I just said “ugh” out loud because the thought of him kissing a neck in the middle of a fucking cocktail party makes me want to squirm and vomit. Squomit.
“You’ve got to get pretty close to someone to kiss them on the neck or grab them on the ass,” Timothy says.
I don’t know why but I am living for a 51-year-old man gossiping with Da Galz.
Around some kind of camp circle a little later on, Michael tells the group what happened with him and Stephen this week. He gets quite worked up and defensive.
“Can you just relax?” Sara asks Michael, which is audacious given no one is allowed to ask the same of her.
He tells her to “shut up” because she’s getting on his nerves, and Tim sits back, quite relaxed, mind you, and lets them have at it.
Sara hated that (like many things she experiences) which turns into silent treatment between the two.
It’s the next day.
Sara and Lauren tell Tori they’re scared to talk about Jack with her, because maybe she’s overseeing the 127 red flags hanging out of Jack like colourful acupuncture.
Tori thinks they’re biased and only wants “new, fun and exciting” information about Jack, declaring she ill be going “on vocal strike” from now on.
Anyway, I would say that the below is the most Gold Coast thing I’ve ever seen if the Gold Coast hadn’t already copped so much flak this season.
A bunch of the MAFS tributes are playing one of those card games that helps facilitate conversation.
Jayden is asked what his biggest fear is, to which he responds, “losing my parents”.
Tristan pats Timothy’s leg which is such an important gesture for someone who’s grieving — a simple acknowledgement that this moment would hurt for him.
Later on, Lucinda sits down with Timothy in their room.
Timothy admits that today really hit him and that when he lost his family, he lost himself.
When Lucinda tells Timothy how brave he is, he walks outside before breaking down.
He tells producers that he is surrounded by people who have the anchor of family and that he jokes about everything because it’s the only way he knows how to cope.
He returns to Lucinda and they embrace for a good while. It’s absolutely a breakthrough moment not only for Timothy but for them as a couple.
It’s for this reason I’m glad Timothy stayed in this experiment and didn’t let anyone else’s opinions on how far along he was interfere. It’s so important that he was able to open up like this, and I do believe that Lucinda and this experiment helped him get there.
I also think it’s important that grief is shown on mainstream reality television in a way that is raw and honest and not weirdly romanticised or glamourised by Hollywood.
Anyway!
It’s time to get ready for Da Galz night and Da Boiz night and I was literally going to comment on how burnt Tori was before she jumped in and did it for me.
To be fair, I do the same thing when I have a mountainous pimple on my head by pointing it out before someone else does.
Lucinda shares her experience with Timothy with the girls, as does Timothy with the boys.
“I’m looking forward to catching up with her later,” he says.
I think Jayden thinks this means that Timothy wants to do as Daddy Light hoped and consummate.
Tori tells the girl about the “healthy dynamic” she has with Jack.
Meanwhile, Jack thinks Tori is “enough” for him. Wow, just what every girl wants to hear! He’s not in love, though, which is totally fine IMO.
Sara and Lauren pull Tori away to chat and then those little editing fuckers cut it off there.
Next MAFS recap? Eden knows something that could derail the entire experiment! Good news for her because she’s getting shit all airtime.
Chantelle Schmidt is a freelance writer. You can follow her on Instagram here.
