We are literally one episode into the drawn-out dumpster fire that is Love Island, and the off-screen drama is already heating the fuck up.
Today’s spicy nugget: blonde rugby boy Charlie Taylor is rumoured to have (or have had?) a ~secret girlfriend~.
According to the Daily Mail, who reportedly got the intel from NW, 22-year-old Taylor was spotted “attending events” with a pretty brunette woman back in February. Not just attending – they were apparently “definitely acting like a couple“.
The big deal about this (as I’m sure you’re wondering) is that Taylor swore up and down to producers of the show that he’d been single for a year and a half before heading to Mallorca, Spain for Love Island filming.
Who’s the mystery lady? Is the tow-headed scamp lying about his love life? Does any of this matter, when put into the context of a rapidly warming climate and a political landscape as parched of hope as a desert on Mars?
The answer to all* these questions and more on tonight’s Love Island. May god have mercy on us all.
*none of
