Literally No One Is Surprised Matty J Chose Laura On Tonight’s ‘Bachie’ Finale

Well, colour us shocked.

Matty J, the handsome man who had his heart broken by last year’s Bachelorette Georgia Love, used his stint as this year’s Bachelor to pick… pretty much Georgia Love.

Look, obviously Laura is a completely different person. For one thing, she has an amazing dog. But you cannot deny that the man, uh, knows what he likes.

Nor can you deny that rumours have dogged the show since way back in June that Matty and Laura had been secretly dating (!!) before The Bachie even started, and that the entire thing where he appeared to genuinely pursue more than a dozen women was merely a fraud.

(Also, and we hate to say we told you so, but…)

Anyway, here we are, in the opposite of Egypt (that is a denial/the Nile joke, thank you), where we also cannot deny that Matty and Laura are super cute together and seeing him tell her he loved her was super, super nice (and seeing her tell him “It’s okay” when she thought she was about to get dumped was like… heartbreaking).

But poor Elise! Poor kind, personable, hockey-playing Elise, who really held it together when getting dumped by a man in a blue suit atop a magic carpet on a grassy knoll, and who deserves both a very nice bloke and a very long holiday.

After all the home town visits, pretending to listen to his family’s opinions, some extremely shameless stringing-along of sweet Elise and a trip to fucken Thailand, the blue-suited hot man has finally given away his promise ring (“Give me your right hand” lol). You’d be correct in assuming that Australia has some Feelings.

(omg please)

(yeah tell ’em Osher)

Ahh, reality TV. Worth it solely for the truly excellent commentary courtesy The Internet, every time.

Now, of course, all our attention will turn to Sophie Monk in The Bachelorette – and thoughts of how good Tara would be in that very role.

Miss you, babe.