Fetch the TimTams because JoJo Siwa dropped some fucking mad tea about her breakup with Avery Cyrus and by God is it steeped to perfection.
To get you up to speed, the former dynamic duo recently called it quits after dating for three months. Cyrus confirmed they were donezo in a TikTok she shared on Saturday, which included a clip of Siwa offering her a “sorry for breaking up with you” present on a cruise. Speaking of which, the video was also sponsored by Royal Caribbean cruises, so take of that what you will.
When folks asked WTF was going on, Cyrus took to the comments to explain the reason behind their split.
“We decided that we are better off as friends,” she said.
“We are both so young and still just trying to figure our stuff out!”
Iconic, fair and relatable. We’ve all been there.
But now Siwa has brought the shade, the sass and the drama and for that, we simply must stan.
Per Page Six, Siwa’s Mum Jessalynn Siwa shared a video to her Instagram Story on Sunday of her daughter pacing back and forth in a room. It was giving me trying to remember where I put my keys.
“Why are you mad?” Mama Siwa asked.
“Because I got used,” Siwa the Second responded.
When asked how, she continued: “For views and for clout. And I got tricked into being told I was loved and I got fucking played.”
I would be lying if I said I didn’t start tearing up. The pain in that poor girl’s voice is simply too much to bear. #IStandWithJoJo.
But alas, there’s more. Siwa shared a TikTok on Tuesday which was so damn shady, I could’ve used it to protect my fair skin from the sun.
“But I love you why are you breaking up with me??!!!” the text on the Tok read.
In the next frame, it read: “There’s someone else.”
Then in the final, scathing frame it switched to: “You told one of my best friends that you were excited to be dating me because you’re ‘growing your career and wanna get to the top’.”
@itsjojosiwaAnd when I said I just wanted to be friends so I didn’t lead you on after an unplanned hookup you wanted nothing to do with me because there was nothing to gain anymore.♬ original sound – ✨Poyo✨
I’m screaming, crying and throwing up. Don’t hold back, queen.
The caption was also, put simply, the pièce de résistance.
“And when I said I just wanted to be friends so I didn’t lead you on after an unplanned hookup you wanted nothing to do with me because there was nothing to gain anymore,” it read.
An unplanned hookup?! I have questions. I’m going to need a 12-part anthology from the good sis JoJo addressing what this means.
As if shit couldn’t get messier, Cyrus shared a TikTok on Tuesday revealing she and her ex-girlfriend Sophie Mosca were going on a non-refundable trip to Europe together, which they booked eight months ago.
@averycyrusWhat are the odds she k!lls me on this trip 😅 . . And before y’all get any ideas we are just friends, and no she’s not taking me back.♬ stream NFR by lana del rey – charlie 🧬
I’m truly spiralling, especially considering Avery Cyrus was just on a cruise with JoJo Siwa. Two back-to-back trips with her exes? Girl really said, “Let’s go the whole hog!”
Between this sheer mess and the Paul Mescal/Phoebe Bridgers/Bo Burnham tea, I don’t know where to look anymore. What a bountiful harvest of drama Father Christmas has gifted us.