Jennifer Lawrence’s Oscars Vomit Was The Most Important Vomit Of All Time

You guys, Jennifer Lawrence got super drunk after the Oscars, and puked her guts out all over the stairs at Madonna‘s party, and it was sheer perfection, a magical end to a magical night.
Lawrence related the story of this epic upchuck to Late Night host Seth Meyers, for an upcoming episode of his talk show, and word of it has since spread faster than a litre of gold-flecked vodka mixed with chunks of high-end canapes. 
The fact that she vomited all over Madonna’s stairs isn’t even the best bit. Moments after Lawrence heaved up her dinner, none other thanMiley Cyrus walked past, and casually told her to “Get it together, girl!”

Can you even imagine a more stunning vomit tableau? You may as well quit drinking and have an early night, because nothing you can regurgitate will ever be as flawless or as effortlessly cool as the contents of Jennifer Lawrence’s stomach.

An onlooker reportedly said that Jennifer Lawrence’s vomit was the most relatable she’d ever seen, and that it looked just like yours and mine, but somehow better, in some hard-to-define, ethereal way.

This level of obsessive fascination with the story of a 23-year-old girl spewing her guts up after a big night might make you want to hurl yourself, but be warned, next to J-Law’s, your vomit will probably look like complete shit.

Stay perfect, Jennifer.

via NY Mag
Photo: Stan Hoda via Getty Images