So I’ve already shared how to charm each star sign and how they will charm you, now it’s time to explore the other end of that: how to break up with each star sign, how they will break up with you and how each sign gets over break-ups.
Astrology is so much more than just your daily horoscope and funny memes on social media. It can actually be a powerful tool that provides divine assistance in all aspects of your life, especially in dating.
To help you through the impending breakup that’s on your mind, I’ve pulled together cheeky passages from my brand spanking new astrology book How to Spot the (Star) Signs — a spicy guide to getting along with anyone, based on their sign. It’s on sale now if you need cosmic assistance on which signs you’re compatible with in love, at work and in your friendships.
How to break up with each star sign
ARIES
How to break up with an Aries
This abrasive fire sign doesn’t get dumped, they do the dumping. They’ll be so stunned that you’ve got the audacity to exit the chat before they’re ready that they’ll spin the conversation around, insisting they’d quietly broken up with you weeks ago anyway without you noticing. They were just sticking around for the free meals and Netflix access. Just nod and roll with everything they’re saying. Be as agreeable as possible to avoid further damage to their ego. They’ll run out of steam eventually, then speed off to their next destination.
How an Aries will break up with you
It doesn’t take much for an Aries to get the ick. Something as minor as the quality of your bedsheets, the noise you make when you chew or the frequency of your Instagram posts will turn them right off, and there’s no way to bring them back. Once they’ve decided they’re off you, there will be no beating around the bush or delaying the process. They just rip that Band-Aid right off, giving absolutely zero fucks about their delivery. Before you know it, your mates will be telling you they’ve spotted your Aries ex on the dating apps. May as well follow suit and move on too.
How Aries get over break-ups
When a relationship ends, they throw their messy feelings onto the backburner and move the fuck on tout suite. They scrub their phone of all traces of you warn their mates to never mention your name again. They’re not ones to feel sorry for themselves or wallow in self-pity. In fact, they probably had a date planned within 48 hours of the break-up. There’s a part of Aries that low-key enjoys being single. They see dating as a game, and when they enter a relationship it’s as if they’ve won the prize. So when a break-up happens, they froth the idea of hitting reset on the game and playing again. Game over for you is game on for them.
TAURUS
How to break up with a Taurus
If you’ve been with a Taurus long enough for them to lower their horns and let you pat them, they’ve probably already started mentally planning your lives together. They’ve already started looking at wedding venues and told their relos that you’re The One – they may have even picked out names for your kids. So this break-up will come as quite a shock to Taurus, as it shatters the future plans they’d been so gleefully anticipating. An in-person break-up is essential here, no matter how long you’ve been with them, as your relationship will be levels ahead in their mind. Taureans are all about logic and practicality, so appeal to their sensibility when pleading your case. Speak softly and calmly, and when it’s over, don’t hang around or you’ll cop those horns. From there, you’ll want to give them plenty of space, although you should expect some snarky follow-up texts.
How a Taurus will break up with you
Taureans don’t give up on relationships easily and hate the idea of change and having to start over. So it’s likely that they’ve been persevering in your relationship longer than they wanted to, before finally deciding to pack it in. They’ll tell you this just to let you know they really tried their hardest to salvage things. And by tried, I mean they waited for you to change because they sure as hell weren’t going to. If you owe them any money, they’ll get you to transfer it on the spot because they don’t trust you to do it later. And all of their streaming service passwords will be updated by the time you’ve left, because they won’t have you mooching off them. Although by the same token, you should probably change yours ASAP because they’ll happily continue mooching off you.
How Taurus gets over break-ups
The same way they deal with any other inconvenience: by running. And I don’t mean on the treadmill. They run and hide under their bedsheets and start to formulate a plan in which they’ll never have to leave home again. They dull their pain receptors by going after the things that bring them the most pleasure, like food and retail therapy. They drop their emergency savings on Uber Eats and unnecessary online purchases. They also remind themselves that they no longer have to share anything with you. No more bartering for bed space, no more debates over TV show choices and, most importantly, no more splitting meals. You’ll be surprised how quickly these guys can shut off their feelings towards you. Once they realise you’re not the person they’ll be snuggling with for all of eternity, they quickly cut all emotional ties. However, since they’re sentimental creatures, they’ll likely want to remain friends – but friends only. They don’t believe in on-again-off-again relationships. Taureans are smart enough to never make the same mistake twice (no offence!). Don’t even try to win them back, because once a Taurus has made up their mind, there’s no changing it.
GEMINI
How to break up with a Gemini
Explain that the spark has fizzled out and things are starting to become a little dull. This will trigger the boredom receptors in their Gemini brain and make them realise that they, too, were getting bored but they were too damn busy to realise it. Blame it on the fact that you rarely see them because they’re always out with their mates. They’ll not only agree with you, they’ll actually take this as a compliment. Be prepared for their mean side to rear its ugly head later on, though. Even if they take the break-up well as it’s happening, this deeply pensive sign may start to mull it over later on and realise they’re not happy with how things went down. If you have a hunch that this may happen, best hit the block button before it does.
How a Gemini will break up with you
Since Geminis change their mind about people more frequently than they change their underwear, break-ups are just part of their weekly routine. So you’ll have to forgive them if they seem rather nonchalant when calling it quits. They’ve done this a million times in the past and they’re probably going to do it a million more times in the future. You should also know that they’ve probably consulted all of their group chats (yes, all of them) for advice before dumping you. After the break-up, they may get seller’s remorse and come crawling back when they fail to find someone better. They’re likely to jump back into your DMs when they get sick of being single to see if you’re keen to try again.
How Gemini gets over break-ups
They’ll block you on all forms of social media just to save face and cut you off from the Gemini show, but since they’re compelled to keep tabs on you, they’ll also create a fake account so they can continue stalking you. Before long, they’ll hit unblock when they forget why they’re even mad at you. However, if they catch you dating someone else soon after the break-up, watch out! Since they do everything for the yarn, including getting into relationships, they’ll be thrilled that they have another story to tell. The best way for them to get over the break-up is by getting in front of it – as in, getting in front of the narrative by telling everyone what happened before you do.
CANCER
How to break up with a Cancer
If there’s one sign that believes in the idea of soulmates, it’s Cancer. They also believe that, with their psychic water sign abilities, they can detect who their soulmates are. And they must’ve thought you were one, otherwise they wouldn’t have hitched their wagon to your star. So if you’re gonna go and tell them that their sensing powers are off and you’re not, in fact, their soulmate, they’ll be mighty disappointed. That disappointment will quickly turn into anger, as you’ve triggered their major abandonment issues. When a Cancer has been wounded by a lover, they tend to lash out, throwing everything you’ve ever told them right in your face, so brace for impact. When they simmer down, express that you’re being open and honest about your feelings, which is something they’ll appreciate. Remind them that their real soulmate is still out there and they have yet to find them.
How a Cancer will break up with you
When a Cancer sets their sights on someone, they will do anything to make it work. But they don’t take disappointment well, and if they’ve been let down and hurt one too many times, they’ll give you the flick. You won’t see it coming either, because let’s face it, Cancers are prone to mood swings. They go from being over the moon to being mad as hell so fast, it’ll give you whiplash. They’ll call it quits by letting you know all the ways you’ve hurt them during your time together, just to make you feel bad. It could be stuff dating back to the very beginning, like when you showed up late to your first date or when you weren’t as supportive as you could’ve been during one of their many crying sessions. They forgave you at the time, but filed it in the back of their mind so they could wheel it out on a rainy day like today. Since Cancers exist on an ongoing emotional rollercoaster, it’s possible that they may want to retract the break-up later on. Be sure to give them space to suss out how they feel, because it always takes them time to figure out where their heart is at, and they may change their mind once they’ve finished processing their feelings.
How Cancers get over break-ups
They vanish off the face of the earth. While some signs turn to friends, work and even sex with the ex to help them get over a break-up, Cancers know they’re on their own. They can’t rely on other people to assist with the healing process because only they can reach the deep chasms of their emotions. So they disappear into their cocoon to mull everything over, rewatching the entire relationship in their head like a silent film. Revelling in the powerful performances, gasping at the unexpected plot twists and sobbing over the gut-wrenching finale. I hate to break it to you, but this movie ends with your violent death. That’s right, you’re dead to them. For at least a little while after the break-up, play along and make yourself scarce while they’re in mourning. Any form of contact will alert them to the fact that you’re still living and breathing, which will disrupt the healing process. When they go through shit, they simply cannot be pulled out of their sulking by anyone but themselves. During this time, they’ll produce some Picasso-level artistic shit. Pain is the greatest motivator for Cancers. Then, when they feel like they are really, truly over it, they will emerge, ready to rack ’em up and play again.
LEO
How to break up with a Leo
As a general rule, Leos don’t get dumped, they do the dumping. So if you’ve done the unthinkable and decided to call it quits with a Leo, they will pretty much think you’re delusional. Therein lies your exit strategy: tell them that they’re way too good for you. They’ll totally agree and send you on your merry way. Leos can be incredibly petty when their ego is bruised, so expect some insults as they leave your life, telling you that they were way too good for you anyway and they were only dating you out of pity. Sure, luv. They don’t like surprises, so it’s best if you drop hints that things are coming to an end before you break the news. As they feel the vibe shifting, they’ll probably want out as well. Leos are here for both a good time and a long time, and they won’t want to hang around if they’re not having fun anymore. They like to leave the party while it’s full.
How a Leo will break up with you
They’ll show up looking gorgeous and radiant as always. Because they can never not be hot, but also because they want you to see what you’re about to be missing out on. They’ll make the conversation all about them, starting off with the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ routine, before cutting the crap and admitting that it actually is you, soz. They’ll pretend to be absolutely devo at first, reducing themselves to a blubbering mess so you’ll feel sorry for them. Then before you know it, they’ll be posting thirst traps on social media and pretending you don’t exist when they bump into you. Harsh, I know, but you knew what you were getting yourself into when you got with one of these conceited creatures!
How Leos get over break-ups
Since relationships play a big part in their ego, they’ll keep the break-up on the down-low for a while, struggling to process the feeling of being dumped since it’s a new concept for them. When they are finally ready to go public with their break-up announcement, it’ll be as if they’re the first person in the world to ever be broken up with. They think they have the monopoly on pain, especially in relationships. That said, they’ll be thrilled that the break-up has propelled them into the spotlight among their fam and friends and made them the centre of attention as everyone rushes to their side. It’s perhaps the greatest gift you’ve ever given them.
VIRGO
How to break up with a Virgo
If you’re gonna call it quits with a Virgo, you’d better have a damn good reason. Before going into it, sit down and rehearse what you’re going to say, thinking of legitimate motives and excuses as to why you’re ending it. They won’t accept any flimsy arguments, so your case had better be airtight. Don’t be afraid to pull out as many facts and figures as possible. They’ll require evidence, and a detailed bibliography of where you got your intel from. Just make sure it’s all accurate! Any inconsistencies and you’re fucked. They may try to convince you to stay, assuring you that your issues are fixable. Virgos are dedicated problem-solvers who can’t stand the idea of things going awry. That’s why you need to be ready to explain why the relationship is beyond repair. If you can convince them that things can’t be fixed, they might just agree with you, because being in a broken sitch conflicts with their need for perfection.
How a Virgo will break up with you
Failed to live up to Virgo’s standards? I’m not surprised. Those standards were impossibly high, so this was bound to happen. Virgos love to sporadically spring clean every aspect of their life, including their list of loved ones. So during one of their recent cleaning frenzies, they probably decided you no longer fit into their picture-perfect life. I’m sure they tried their darnedest to help you curb your bad habits, but now that they’ve realised you have flaws like all other humans, and that they can’t be changed, they’ve decided it’s time to clean house. They will have carefully crafted the perfect break-up spiel and rehearsed it to the letter. They’ll have points and examples to share, illustrating why you’re donezo and why you’ll both live a better life apart. They’ll ensure as clean a break-up as possible – they do hate mess, after all!
How Virgos get over break-ups
They throw themselves into a cleaning spree. Break-ups are messy, and they’ll want to sweep up the pieces of their life as quickly as possible. They’ll scrub all traces of you from their social media and send a carefully worded message to their group chats to let everyone know that the relationship is no more. If you’ve left any items at your Virgo ex’s home, you’d better hit them up ASAP, ’cos that shit’s gonna end up in the garbage by EOD. They’ll then work on a cleverly constructed argument to explain to their mates why things didn’t work out, making themselves seem like the mature and wise one in the situation, of course.
LIBRA
How to break up with a Libra
Take them to a stunning location, but nowhere too central. They hate crying in public because they don’t want the world to see them looking any less than cute. And don’t pick any of their favourite places, because they’ll resent the fact that you’ve tarnished their fave spot with a negative memory. Ease into the conversation and explain to them that things feel out of balance and the only way to restore said balance is to break up. Do it as amicably as possible, insisting that your love story has come to a natural end and it’s now time for you both to roam free and find a new bae. Librans need to be friends with literally everyone, so definitely give them the option to remain pals, even if you plan on disappearing. They won’t even notice – before long, they’ll be flirting with someone new.
How a Libra will break up with you
Librans are so damn afraid of conflict that it’s likely they’ve stayed with you way longer than they actually wanted to. Even though they’ve known the relationship is donezo for some time now, they’ve put off breaking up with you because they’d rather be in an unhappy sitch than feel uncomfortable, even for a second. But once they finally muster up the courage to call it quits, they’ll try to ensure as soft a landing as possible. They’ll adorn you with treats, compliment your look, see to it that you’re on cloud nine. Finally, after they’ve beaten around the bush with incoherent sentences, you’ll probably get the inkling that it’s over before they’re even able to say the words. As painful as it is to be the dumpee, just know that having to do the deed means they’re in a hell of a lot more pain.
How Libra gets over break-ups
Librans do not take break-ups well. After this ethereal angel allowed you into their life, they became accustomed to having you as part of their aesthetic and now they have to readjust to life without you. You’ve completely thrown off their essential Libran balance, damn it. One of the main reasons why Librans love being in a relationship is because they believe they look better with someone standing beside them. So when their other half takes an eraser to their picture-perfect image, Librans immediately get to work on filling that blank space with a new person. They heal their wounds with retail therapy, then go out and find new people to hang with. Before you know it, they’ll be soft-launching a new lover on Instagram. And believe me, it won’t take them long. I mean, have you seen a Libra?
SCORPIO
How to break up with a Scorpio
Given that Scorpios are high-key psychic and have read your mind (and your texts), they will have seen it coming. They will come to the conversation armed with a master manipulation tactic to try and get you to change your mind. Those eyes that once charmed you into dating them are now hypnotising you to stay. Avoid direct eye contact as you power your way through the break-up spiel, and when you return home, hang a wreath of garlic over your door to keep them away for good. This is no easy feat, however, because Scorpios tend to linger after a break-up. They just can’t let go. So if you have to, force them by making it clear that your pact with the devil is now null and void.
How a Scorpio will break up with you
Prepare to be totally blindsided, because a Scorpio will not let on that your relationship is on shaky ground. This super secretive sign hides their true feelings behind their smize, so you’ll have no idea what’s going on until you’re out on your arse. It was probably over for them weeks ago and they’ve kept you hanging, waiting for the perfect moment to do it. They’re generally pretty ruthless in their break-up style, but not because they want to invoke emotion in you and leave lasting impact (at least, not just because of that). It’s just that they can’t not be honest, and that honesty can be brutal and biting. And that’s not even the worst-case scenario. Scorpios are absolute fiends for ghosting, so they may even just disappear in the middle of the night and you’ll never see them again.
How Scorpio gets over break-ups
They’ll either block you on all social media channels or become totally obsessed with you. If it’s the latter, they go into full detective mode and keep close tabs on every move you make. They track your following list on IG and your friends list on FB to see if any new additions pop up, and then they stalk those pages too. They have an extremely difficult time letting go and feel a compulsion to see if you’ve upgraded, downgraded or if you’re still single and want to give it another shot. This even applies when they’re the dumper – they still can’t help feeling jilted. They were just so obsessed with the relationship and find it hard to hit delete on those memories and feelings. The only way this can be done is by saving something over the file that was your relationship. Rest assured, they’ll grow tired eventually and start using their detective skills to find someone new.
SAGITTARIUS
How to break up with a Sagittarius
If there’s one thing this fire sign hates, it’s feeling like they’ve been duped or lied to. So it’s best to never drag out a break-up with a Sag; instead, go in for the kill the moment you know it’s over. They prize honesty over all else, so speak your truth and be real about why you’re ending things. Nothing is non-negotiable to a Sagittarius, so they’ll want to spend hours upon hours discussing what went wrong and if there’s a solution you can come to. Settle in, ’cos it could take some time before you convince your Sag partner that it’s time for them to go off on their next adventure. You can soften the blow by telling them you’ve had an absolute ball dating them. If nothing else, they’ll be glad they were a good time for you.
How a Sagittarius will break up with you
There are three things that Sagittarians won’t tolerate in a relationship: feeling locked down, stifled or bored. If any of these things happen, they will want to call it quits and embark on a new journey. Given that they’re a strictly no-BS sign, they’ll do this by having a straightforward and transparent conversation with you. When you’re dumping a Sag, they’ll want to talk it out for ages, but when they’re dumping you, they’ll want it to be over as quickly as possible, since they hate awkward emotional convos. Once it’s done, they press on as if it (and you) never happened.
How Sagittarius gets over break-ups
How Sagittarians get over break-ups: Sagittarians catch flights, not feelings. By the time the final word between you was uttered, they had already begun plotting their escape plan. They’ll eat, pray, love their way across the globe, travelling to faraway lands and having exciting new experiences to keep the heartbreak from setting in. Then when they finally return, they’ll go straight to your door and try to win you back, telling you that the overseas trip was soul-changing and they’re a different person now, ready to give it another shot. Either that or they’ll arrive in the arms of someone they met overseas. Or, the final and most likely option, they’ll be back and ready to hit the dating apps because you can’t keep a good Sag down. Their wanton curiosity will already have them searching for their next adventure partner.
CAPRICORN
How to break up with a Capricorn
When shit hits the fan for a Capricorn, their brain automatically snaps into practicality mode. They’ll ask themselves: ‘Why did this happen?’ ‘What does this mean for my future?’ ‘How will this look to people?’ ‘What can I do next?’ Do your homework ahead of time and have the answers to these questions ready so they don’t have to do it themselves. Treat it like an exam and go in with all the answers prepared. They’ll want to discuss who will be the one to tell your shared mates, what the social media protocol will be, the financial implications of it all and when to return their stuff. Rest assured, you won’t have to worry about them begging you to stay. Capricorns would rather dive into the bottomless pits of hell than beg.
How a Capricorn will break up with you
The main reason why a Capricorn would dump you and throw away all the hard work they’ve put into your relationship is that it’s standing in the way of their greater potential. They absolutely will not have that. Sorry, but no one is special enough to hold them back from their goals. So they’ll explain to you in certain terms how their life will improve if they are no longer in this relationship. In other words, they’ll give you the ‘It’s not me, it’s you’ spiel. Yep, you read that correctly. Capricorns never take the blame for anything, so don’t expect them to do so during the break-up. They won’t be concerned about hurting your feelings, either. They have a mission to complete and that’s dumping your arse as quickly and steadily as possible, then picking up the pieces of their life and pressing on as if nothing happened.
How a Capricorn gets over break-ups
Not by sitting around crying over spilt cold brew, that’s for damn sure. Capricorns despise overt displays of emotion and their friends are often stunned by how fast they get over heartbreak. Caps cut the cord and get on with their lives as if nothing happened. They don’t delude themselves into pondering the prospect of going back to their ex. They don’t even stop to analyse where things went wrong or what they could have done differently. They just see it as a loss on the balance sheet. They face the facts and get on with life. This is partially how they’ve earned their stoic and unfeeling reputation – they refuse to let anything rock their boat, especially not a break-up. They’re not even mad at the person they broke up with. If anything, they’re mad at themselves for wasting their time and not realising the relationship was a dud earlier on. And they certainly don’t intend on wasting any more time by addressing the matter further.
AQUARIUS
How to break up with an Aquarius
What Aquarians desire more than anything on earth is freedom. True freedom. They got into a relationship with you because something about you intrigued them. But at some point, they probably realised nothing intrigues them quite like the idea of freedom and their aloofness has inevitably gotten on your nerves. Either that or their weird quirks have just become too much. Whatever the case may be, you should handle the break-up as if you’re releasing a captured bird into the wild. Pitch it as if you’re doing it for them, allowing them to move as they please without feeling restricted by the shackles of a relationship. Their curious nature means they’ll want to know why you’re breaking up with them, so explain it to them in clear terms without being combative, to help them let go.
How an Aquarius will break up with you
When an Aquarius feels like their personal freedom has been breached, when they feel that you’re being too needy and clingy and infringing upon their freedom to frolic, they’ll go ahead and set themselves free. They won’t even think about it. They’ll be so blasé about breaking up with you that you won’t even know what’s happening – it’ll just sound like they’re reciting poetry. Then you’ll suddenly realise their spiel about wanting to roam is their way of saying it’s over. They’re incapable of being overly sensitive, so just know that they’re literally doing this the only way they know how.
How an Aquarius gets over break-ups
Aquarians handle break-ups better than any other sign. They see it as a new adventure that they can’t bloody wait to embark upon. Although they never really allowed themselves to be stifled in the relationship, they’ll go ahead and do fun solo shit to remind them of how sweet it is to be single. Overseas trips, either on their lonesome or with their mates, huge nights out without having to check in with anyone, getting to work on that art project without distractions. Don’t be concerned about them. Picture them running through an open field of daisies with a big smile on their face. Not celebrating the demise of your relationship, but celebrating the fact that they can be their solo weirdo self again (not that they ever really stopped).
PISCES
How to break up with a Pisces
Because Pisces is the most sensitive sign of the zodiac, they take break-ups particularly hard, so going about this will be like dismantling a ticking time bomb. Handle everything with care and avoid cutting the wrong wire, and by that I mean telling them that the break-up is their fault. Even if it was their fault, say that it’s yours. They’re incredibly fragile and will try and convince you to stay, but you must remain firm or they’ll end up persuading you to call off the break-up, for no other reason than to end this uncomfortable conversation and relieve your guilt.
How a Pisces will break up with you
Even though they’re the one calling time on your relationship, they’re still distraught that they’ll have to cancel the wedding plans they’ve been making in their head. Before they can even spit out the words ‘We’re done’, they’ll be a blubbering mess, sobbing their way through the entire thing. You’ll need to get them to repeat sentences because you won’t understand most of it through the tears. In the end, you’ll be the one consoling them even though, again, THEY’RE THE ONE THAT DUMPED YOU!
How Pisces gets over break-ups
How Pisceans get over break-ups: Break-ups are apocalyptic events to Pisceans. The end is nigh. Life as we know it has ceased to exist. Whether they’re the breaker-upper or the break-upee, Pisces becomes consumed by the end of the relationship and will wallow in self-pity long after it’s over. While most people who are emotional wrecks choose to barricade themselves at home, Pisces will show up to brunch all dishevelled and unkempt, looking like they’ve just survived an explosion, just to show their friends what a mess they are. They feel that the only way to heal is through sympathy from others. They are in mourning, and they want everyone around them to be in mourning too.
This was an extract from How to Spot the (Star) Signs, the debut astrology book by PTV’s Managing Editor Matt Galea. It’s on sale now at Dymocks, Amazon, Booktopia, Big W and most book stores. You can find him on Instagram and TikTok.
