Your Horos Are Here: Hey Taurus, Here’s Your Sign To Say ‘Fuck Off’ To Everyone & Be Selfish

Say goodbye to boss bitch Aries Season and ‘ello to grounded Taurus Season. Read on to see how you’ll be impacted next week…


Aries Season is donezo as of this week and in its place comes Taurus Season, but that doesn’t mean your ability to absolutely crush it will be any lesser. Your goal for the next few weeks will be making those dollarydoos and reconnecting with old mates. Who knows, maybe both concepts will be intertwined?


Pop the fucken champs because your season has arrived, ya Taurean legend! This year, stop people-pleasing and putting your needs aside for the good of the collective. Fuck the collective. It’s all about YOU! And if the people within said collective don’t get that, then it may be time for some good ol’ friend culling.


Whenever you’re negotiating, searching for a compromise and trying to get people to see your point of view, remember to keep your cool and rely on the facts in order to achieve your goals. Elsewhere, as Taurus Season has just begun, keep your eyes on the prize. That prize being $$$.


Taurus Season has arrived and its grounding energy is calling for you to tie up loose ends. Could be an important convo you’ve been meaning to have with someone, signing the papers for something (new job, new home, new pet etc), something of that nature. Onward and upward!


Lazy-ass Taurus Season is here so soak up those chill vibes and do just that: be chill. Cancel your plans, chuck a sickie, suggest a night-in rather than a night-out. Rest and relax! You’ll have plenty of time to prance around and show everyone how hot you are down the track once your batteries have been recharged.


You’re gonna be feeling horny as hell over the next few weeks, due to Taurus Season’s impact on you, a fellow Earth sign. I know you love to take control and do things your way, but make sure you’re tending to the other person’s needs every once in a while, not just your own (although your needs are v important too!).


No one procrastinates and puts things off more than a Libra. Your ability to come up with excuses for not doing something, no matter how important, is gold medal-worthy. Whether it’s a dentist, doctor, psychologist, hairdresser, or PT appointment, you need to stop delaying shit and get it done this week.


This week you’ve got total tunnel vision and your only focus is your dating life. If you’re committed, you’ll be feeling all loved-up and obsessed with your boo. If you’re single, you’ll be scanning the dating apps like it’s no one’s business, which it’s not, but I’m glad you’re getting out there!


Your sex drive will be seriously fired up this week onwards as the sun enters Taurus on Tuesday, April 19, turning your focus to all matters involving the bedroom. Your sex life will be transformed and you’ll be craving intimacy and hot as hell sex with that special someone or perhaps even a stranger or two.


Taurus Season kicks off this week and it’ll have you feeling all pensive and thoughtful. You’ll be asking the bigger questions and having existential crises here and there. During those deep and meaningful convos, you may even change your perspective on an important topic, which is rare for a stern, hard-headed Cap.


The next few weeks are bloody hectic, social wise. Your FB events calendar will be booming with lit event after lit event. Just remember that you don’t have to go to *all* of them. Sure, socialising nourishes your soul, but make sure you skip an event or two and focus on self-care, sweetie.


Over the next few weeks you’ll spend lots of time with your nearest and dearest and make some sick memories. This is all thanks to Taurus Season, which encourages us to get back to basics and focus on what (read: who) truly brings us joy and eliminate anything that doesn’t.

Matty Galea is the Senior Entertainment Editor at PEDESTRIAN.TV, as well as our resident astrologer who pens our weekly horoscope series, ‘Your Horos Are Here’. He also Tweets about pop culture and astrology and posts spicy content on Instagram.