He’s All That is the Frankenstein’s monster of teen rom-coms. It’s like the creators have tried to squeeze as many cliches and stereotypes into one film as humanly possible. It feels like they asked an alien to guess what high school in 2021 America was like, and made a movie about it.

It’s quite frankly the most 2021 film ever, and no, that’s not a compliment.

The film stars Addison Rae, Tanner Buchanan, Peyton Meyer, Madison Pettis, Myra Molloy and OG She’s All That actress Rachael Leigh Cook. Maybe I’m old (I’m 23), but this cast feels too Gen Z even for Gen Zs.

The casting isn’t even the worst part of the film. In fact, that may have been the best part of the film. The script is awful and it’s basically identical to a theatre studies performance I did in year 9. Again, that’s not a compliment.

It starts off with Addison Raebies literally live streaming on TikTok, and believe it or not, it actually goes significantly more downhill from here.

tell me you’re a TikTok creator, without telling me you’re a TikTok creator.

I hope that Freddie Prinze Jr. takes this film as a personal insult. It was a train wreck from start-to-finish and Addison Raebies’ TikTok dancing was the biggest kick in the teeth.

And of course Kourtney Kardashian exists in this weird TikTok movie universe, ON A FUCKING PELOTON BIKE AS WELL.

when will this nightmare end?
Kourtney Kardashian shows little-to-no emotion on a good day. So who thought it was a good idea to make her act?????

The rest of the film is just full of a million-and-one cliches.

Arty guy takes black and white photos just to feel something, and wears a beanie in the middle of summer for some reason.

Hot white girl is popular, but has a heart of gold.

Ethnic best friend characters with zero screen time end up falling in love (of course). Yet we never see them kiss. Classic.

“we’re soarin’, flyin’, why am I wearing a beanie to a beach party?”

The acting wouldn’t have been half as bad, if the characters didn’t have to say embarrassing lines like this:

“High school is just a bunch of scared people, pretending to be something that they’re not.”

Aside from the obvious script flaws, the costuming comes a close second for making me clinically blind. There were, and I cannot stress this enough, multiple teenagers with their caps on backwards.

why does the ‘arty’ character look like he’d try and start a bar fight with someone for not shaking his hand?

Now for the makeover. Oh wait, what makeover? He just got a haircut.

hot.
still hot.

It’s no wonder there are rumours Tiny Bushman and Addmeonsnapchat are dating IRL, because they are both hot AF. However, not even their looks could save them from this nightmare of a film.

To make things even worse, He’s All That ended on an awfully remixed version of the iconic track from the original movie, ‘Kiss Me’ by Sixpence None The Richer.

So there you go, He’s All That, was *not* all that. 1/5 stars.

Image: Netflix