If you’re not doing puzzles in lockdown, are you even in lockdown?
I for one have pivoted hard from LEGO (which I still love and adore) to puzzles. But none of these hard puzzles – I go for the easy shit, like 2,000 pieces and plenty of detailed drawings that are easy to put together.
But some people like to watch the world burn. They need hard puzzles, and they need them as hard as possible. Yes, I’m aware that sounds sexual. Who said puzzling WASN’T sexual?
Behold, some truly fucked puzzles I’ve found around online. Do these are your own peril.
1. Ravensberger Magical Bookcase
Normally a lot of tiny details would help you puzzle. But when there’s 18,000 pieces and all those tiny details are the same fucking miniscule apple or whatever, they will END YOU.
2. TOYANDONA Starry Night Puzzle
Sure, it’s only 2000 pieces. But what’s piece count when you’re trying to fucking MURDER YOUR BRAIN WITH SWIRLY PATTERNS.
3. Clemens Habicht 5000 Colors Puzzle
Ah yes, I too love to spend my time with high blood pressure c/o stress, trying to place “sort of blue” next to “bit more blue”.
4. Small World Tiny Piece Pure Hell The Great
Leave it to the Japanese to take “fucked up puzzle” and times it by ten. They do it with game shows, they’ll do it with puzzles. This is chaos and I don’t want to see it in my presence again.
5. Rabusion Hobbies Round Puzzle
This puzzle had a whole blurb about being stress relieving, and honestly nothing about trying to puzzle together a blurry circle seems remotely calming to me.
6. Educa Sistine Chapel Puzzle
Extremely expensive, extremely beautiful, extremely going to see you screaming at your housemates when they place ONE piece in the wrong spot and ruin the whole goddamn process.
7. Camelot 3D Puzzle
This is too fucking cool. This one looks like it’ll absolutely ruin you but it’ll also invigorate your soul, you know? Sort of a cleansing if you will.
8. Ravensburger Disney Moments Filmstrip Puzzle
This puzzle costs a fucktonne of money, but hey – if you’re a puzzle lord, you’re at peace with this. 40,000+ puzzle pieces to put into place, god help you.
9. Frank Lloyd Wright Saguaro Cactus & Forms Puzzle
Ah yes, on the surface this is every mildly wanky artiste’s type of puzzle! It’s art! In puzzle form! But look closer and you can see an emotional breakdown waiting to happen. All those lines, they are going to ruin you.
10. Ravensburger KRYPT
The shit is this? Why do this to us, Ravensburger? Why?
11. EuroGraphics Tulip Fields Puzzle
You cannot TELL me you will cope placing all those identical tulip pieces in place. If you don’t cry, you’re a robot.
12. The Impossible Isolation Puzzle
Why would anyone do this to themselves, I don’t know – but you’re here, so you clearly like a fucked challenge.
12. Sunsout Moonlit Brethren Puzzle
This one’ll just break your brain because look at it. What the fuck is going on here.
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