Full disclosure: I don’t think I’m in the target market for The Goop Lab, the upcoming Netflix docuseries from Gwyneth Paltrow‘s lifestyle brand Goop. My wellness routine extends to protein shakes, glancing at the bottle of Cetaphil next to my sink, and apologising to my dentist. My financial aspirations do not extend to a fully Goop-endorsed wardrobe, nor this AU$750 hoodie. Crucially, I also lack a vagina, meaning I find a lot of Goop’s yoni-centric advice to be impractical.

Keep these factors in mind as I walk you through The Goop Lab‘s first trailer, which was released this morning. The clip highlights Paltrow and Goop’s chief content officer Elise Loehnen as they explore a number of topics in the Goopisphere, including energy healing, exorcisms, cold therapy, and sexual health.

Modern life presents a carousel of ailments, illnesses, and spiritual batterings, and The Goop Lab appears to highlight how Paltrow and Loehnen believe we should navigate those very real challenges. “What we try to do at Goop is explore ideas that may seem out-there, or too scary,” Loehnen says at one point. Fair enough. But the trailer does little to dispel prior criticism of the brand, namely that its solutions for a better life are unproven, time-consuming, and out of reach for anyone who doesn’t have Marvel movie money.

If that’s still your bag, or if you’d just like an excuse to gawp at an organisation which has become a stand-in for all things woo in 2020, cop the trailer below. The Goop Lab rolls out on January 24.

Image: Netflix