Quoth the great poet of our generation William Frederick Durst, “Drama makes the world go around. Does anybody got a problem with that? My business is my business. Who’s guilty? Can I get a witness?” As true today as it was when it was written.
The great Australian love story – the romance that inspired a thousand like it – is over. Senator Glenn Lazarus has consciously uncoupled with Clive Palmer and the Palmer United Party.
What seemed at first like a bond that would outlast the sands of time themselves, crumbled and fell in the early hours of this morning, with Lazarus breaking up with Clive through a simple text message.
The story goes that the PUP had earlier fired Lazarus’ wife Tess. Tess Lazarus had previous been endorsed by the party as their candidate for the Sunshine Coast seat of Buderim prior to the recent Queensland state election. Party officials stated that Tess’ subsequent sacking was primarily due to an apparent “[failure] to comply with the terms of her employment.”
Hours later, Glenn (pictured above, waving bye to Felicia) sent Clive the fateful text message informing him of his decision to quit the party, following in Jacqui Lambie‘s footsteps out the yellow door, and leaving the Palmer United Party with a single, solitary remaining representative in the Senate in Western Australian senator Dio Wang (who still, for the record, retains the greatest name in politics today).
Outwardly, Glenn insists that the reason for his defection is a “different view of team work.” But the timing of the move cannot be ignored.
Clive appeared on Fairfax Radio this morning to convey his dismay and heartbreak.
“All I got was a text saying he’d resigned last night. I feel disappointed that he didn’t come and see me and talk to me.”
Meanwhile Jacqui Lambie has rallied around Glenn during this obviously difficult time.
“Whatever pressures and problems Glenn now faces, he’s a proud Queenslander and a tough man… His star is about to shine even brighter.”
Lazarus himself has not yet made any further official comment. Although whispers around Parliament House seem to be suggesting that he’s spent the morning shaking hands with people, making uncomfortably prolonged eye contact and insisting that 2015 is now going to be “his year.“
Meanwhile, catch Clive slumped in his office chair for the rest of the day with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s all like:
