I’m sorry, but FUCK gender reveal parties. They are the worst of the worst in our social media-obsessed society where we all just want constant attention all the time.

Like congrats you got inseminated, but I don’t need to attend 40 parties to celebrate your spawn, one of which is an event where you throw pink or blue confetti in my face to tell me you’re up the duff with a boy or girl beb. You know? Like just don’t. I don’t care. Just tell me in a text or in one FB post and be done with it.

That being said I’m sure many of you enjoy these frivolities and look, I can be a total bitch with my opinions so just ignore my rage, K? I still love you. Even if you shoot blue/pink lasers into your friends eyes to inform them of the sex of your impending child.

But I think we can all agree this? THIS IS AN ABOMINATION.

Credit: Villa Italian Kitchen

What the fucking shit-fuck is that? That is BLUE LASAGNA. Someone has taken the world’s most treasured item of Italian cuisine and put blue DYE IN THE BECHAMEL. It’s like an alien shit in a pan and someone went, you know what, let’s put cheese on top of this and convince narcissists that it’s worth paying for.

The lasagna’s are coming from Villa Italian Kitchen, an NYC-based company that seem to make a lot of pasta and catering stuff involving pasta. And look – it’s a fucking smart business move bc we aren’t shutting the shit up about what sex our babies are, so why not cash in on everyone’s attention-seeking bullshit right?

If you want one, you’ll have to fly to America – which tbh isn’t entirely out of the imagined wheelhouse for people who like these things – and then pay almost $200 Australian for what is literally a blob of blue or pink cheese and meat that’ll likely give you a food colouring related rash all over your body.

But hey, live your life.

Image: Villa Italian Kitchen