Euphoria’s long-awaited second season finally premiered this week and gave fans moments they’d been dying for all last szn.
The next chapter of HBO’s gritty teen drama opened with some backstory on Fez (Angus Cloud). We learn that he was raised by his drug-dealing grandmother and forced to take up the family biz plus be a parental guardian for his adopted brother Ashtray (Javon Walton) when he was just a teen.
In the present day, Fez, Ashtray and Rue (Zendaya) get caught in a drug deal sitch gone wrong before we see all our fave glitter-faced girlies and homies at a house party on New Year’s Eve. Of course, shit goes down.
First, let’s get the delicious entree out of the way: Rue and Jules (Hunter Schafer) share their first cheeky pash since they ~split~ at the end of last season.
The pair reunite for the first time since Jules abandoned Rue at a train station — I’m still not over that by the way! — and embrace each other when the clock hits midnight. Rue’s also coked up on drugs and nearly dies from an overdose minutes prior to this but let’s not think about that right now, okay? The gays are happy and thriving, don’t ruin it for them and me.
the entire rue and jules scene from euphoria tonight was so beautiful pic.twitter.com/CZEEdaU08W
— ma¡le (@milfadyen) January 10, 2022
Anyway, while that’s left our crops watered and our skin moisturised, the Rules moment wasn’t even the biggest takeaway from the Euphoria season two premiere. In what feels like the biggest edition of He Had It Coming since Chicago, human rotten garbage Nate (Jacob Elordi) finally gets a piece of his own medicine.
In the film’s closing scene, Fez wraps up his wholesome chat with Lexi (Maude Apatow) at the party and casually walks over to Nate. This is a pretty big deal since Fez straight-up threatened to kill Nate last season for antagonising Rue and Jules.
Fez and Nate consider burying the hatchet between them before Fez doubles down on their beef and smashes a bottle over Nate’s head. BAM. Here’s a splendid behind-the-scenes moment Angus Cloud shared on his Instagram if you want to relive it.
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Nate then falls to the floor and old Fezzy boy pounds his face in. Repeatedly. Maddie (Alexa Demie) and Cassie (Sydney Sweeney) try to break the fight up as Lexi watches on in horror.
Now, while we don’t condone violence in any IRL contexts here at PEDESTRIAN.TV, it feels soooo fkn satisfying seeing this happen to a guy like Nate.
Last season, he blackmailed Jules and literally beat up a guy who flirted with his then ex-girlfriend Maddie, who he also slut-shamed and physically and emotionally abused when they were together. Then in this episode, he hooks up with her bestie, asks a bunch of creepy questions about her ex-bf and his mate McKay’s sexual history, and stalks all of his victims at the party like a fkn predator.
If there ever was a Golden Globe award for the biggest cunt in television, Nate would be the absolute frontrunner. Elordi meanwhile is a gentle giant. However, even he admitted that he would “love to beat him up”.
“I would like to give him a clip around the ears,” the actor said about his character on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.
Side note: the internet had a field day with this scene. Here are some of the tweets that had me absolutely tripping in a laughing frenzy.
— BIGSHUN (@datdudejay_x) January 10, 2022
— A I D S (@7imrighturwrong) January 10, 2022
— JD they/them (@jd_occasionally) January 10, 2022
— 𝓜𝓮𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓜𝓮𝓵 ✨ (@Vividly_Mel) January 10, 2022
— Taylormarie ✨🌙 (@TaylorMadame) January 10, 2022
— positiviTEA (@ksthoughtss) January 10, 2022
— ch1oe (@H0PEKOSMOS) January 10, 2022
— cami (@cymonecami) January 10, 2022
Going forward, I think there are two ways that this story arc can go. In the season two trailer, we see Nate looking defeated in a wheelchair. That tells me that either Nate uses his dad’s connections and sues Fez’s ass and puts him in prison, or he’ll finally back down and stop being a total prick.
Given Nate’s inferiority complex and the shit we’ve seen from him, I kinda doubt it’ll be the latter.
Anyway, you can catch up on all the glittery glam, fire fits and traumatic drama over on Binge.