G’day, g’day, g’day! Another week has passed, another episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under exclusively on Stan has aired, and another spot of mould has appeared in my inner west apartment. Things are looking way up for everyone south of the equator.

Alrighty then, let’s get this second RuCap a-cookin’.

Last week the queens were tasked with making Down Under couture out of leaves that dried up the next morning. The total cash prize may be up but production decisions are still questionable!

In the end, Molly Poppinz won the challenge and Faux Fur was sent packing.

Here’s a glimpse at Molly’s look to remind you why exactly she won:

drag race down under
queen of the bush.

The queens gather ’round in a happy little circle to rehash old feuds and create the second-most difficult-to-watch scene in the episode discuss the competition.

Minnie Cooper and Aubrey Haive have a moment. Well, it’s more like Minnie talking about the moment they already had for a second time while Aubrey gets on the ‘why are we here’ bus.

Drag Race RuCap: Did We Just Witness One Of The Best Runways To Ever Grace The Show?
stunned mullet.

Throughout the entire thing, I was peeking through tiny gaps in my hands. Shit was hard to watch.

Beverly Kills‘ face throughout the entire thing was the same as mine:

Drag Race RuCap: Did We Just Witness One Of The Best Runways To Ever Grace The Show?
*no thoughts, head empty, staying blissful and in my lane*

RuPaul then walks in to break up the tension and she’s joined by a very special guest: her shadow!!

I’m waiting to see how the folks from the Ru-isn’t-in-the-room camp explain THIS one.

Drag Race RuCap: Did We Just Witness One Of The Best Runways To Ever Grace The Show?
I feel like Galileo explaining why the Earth isn’t flat. 

Our gorgeous queens are handed this week’s mini challenge, which is basically for Molly to hand sashes to her competition with sassy little labels.

It’s designed to cause tension amongst the cast but thankfully Molly handed the sashes to the most relaxed and easy-going queens in the competition.

Spankie Jackzon took the Daggiest Drag award like a champ, Kween Kong (obviously) won the award for looking the hottest, Yuri Guaii got the fiercest competition sash (as she SHOULD) and Beverly Kills embraced her award for queen going home next with a smile.

Heaven forbid that last award went to anyone else, it would have been a bloodbath.

RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under
Miss Congeniality, now on Stan *wink*.

The queens then get prepped for the main challenge of the week, which is to put their acting chops on the barbie and pretend to be prison inmates for a show called Caged Queens.

Team sash plus Molly start to spill a bit of tea about how Aubrey and Minnie are on a team together (gay gasp) and the drama that may ensue from that.

Kween Kong, absolute fkn legend, shuts down all the chit-chat about Minnie behind her back. We stan an icon. My winner through and through.

drag race down under
she has the kind of arms you just don’t want to mess with.

Fast forward to the script reading and… fuck it maybe we need to fast forward a bit more.

Drag Race RuCap: Did We Just Witness One Of The Best Runways To Ever Grace The Show?
glamour.

One, two, skip a few and here we are on the green-screen set.

First on the chopping block is miss Aubrey Haive who is acting as the third Minogue sister (?) who has been arrested for stealing a shit tonne of goods while serving as a brand ambassador (??).

Honestly, we’ve seen influencers do way worse.

Drag Race RuCap: Did We Just Witness One Of The Best Runways To Ever Grace The Show?
me when the only Nicki Minaj song at karaoke is “Starships”.

Unfortunately, Miss Haive’s acting ability isn’t exactly at Meryl Streep‘s level.

Hell, it’s barely at RuPaul’s.

But hey, maybe our judges enjoyed it?

Drag Race RuCap: Did We Just Witness One Of The Best Runways To Ever Grace The Show?
~ think of the money, Michelle, think of the money ~

Rhys?

rhys nicholson
how I look when I tell my nonna I definitely have a girlfriend.

Okay. Sure. Yes.

Back to the werk room and drama ensues yet again!

This time it’s between Minnie Cooper and Pomara Fifth (not to be confused with the fourth instalment in the Pomara series).

Minnie was telling the room about her struggles with dyslexia and Pomara made a poorly timed joke about how everyone had already heard about it.

Because everyone in the room was a drag queen and also a gay, things escalated quite swiftly.

Drag Race RuCap: Did We Just Witness One Of The Best Runways To Ever Grace The Show?
mess.

This time around it was Hannah Conda who had the perfect reaction to the absolute chaos that went down.

hannah conda drag race down under
Pansexual’s Labyrinth.

However, not every moment in the werk room was finger pointing, apologies and awkward glances.

Spankie Jackzon and Yuri Guaii had the most heartwarming moment of connection after Yuri opened up about her family.

When Spankie told Yuri that her door was always open and that there was a seat at her table I started BAWLING my eyes out. As someone from a similar situation as Yuri, it broke my heart to see Spankie be so loving and caring.

She not only listened to Yuri’s troubles but made sure she knew that it wasn’t her fault her family react in the way they do to her homosexuality and drag career. What a fkn legend.

Drag Race RuCap: Did We Just Witness One Of The Best Runways To Ever Grace The Show?
I’m so glad they aired this scene… my heart is FULL.

Now it’s time for everyone’s favourite part, the runway!

Here are some of the notable looks from this week’s Drag Race Down Under episode:

Minnie Cooper looked insanely fabulous in her blue butterfly couture. The way it moved? Gorgeous. Her hair? Insanely fabulous. Once again she’s proving why she is a legend.

Drag Race RuCap: Did We Just Witness One Of The Best Runways To Ever Grace The Show?
my wings are spread.

Next up, one has to commend the gorgeous cockroach couture from Miss Aubrey Haive.

Stunning, put together perfectly, a feast for the eyes, immaculate, etc etc. Let’s take another look at it.

Drag Race RuCap: Did We Just Witness One Of The Best Runways To Ever Grace The Show?
i’m craving mor-tein.

I can’t talk about this week’s runway without mentioning Yuri Guaii’s.

From top to bottom it was just so… right. Every choice she made from the colour of her wig to the mesmerising pink bows just proved she has a real knowledge of fashion.

Hands down one of the best things to grace the runway.

Drag Race RuCap: Did We Just Witness One Of The Best Runways To Ever Grace The Show?
crown her!!!!!

Speaking of best dressed, if Yuri has the best outfit in Drag Race Down Under history, then Hannah Conda gets the crown for second best. Hell, it may even be a tie.

This “Mr Demoth I’m ready for my close-up” couture was STELLAR. Her lips were GLOWING. Her hair was sitting PERFECTLY. Hannah Conda clearly knows how to pull a fkn look.

Drag Race RuCap: Did We Just Witness One Of The Best Runways To Ever Grace The Show?
moth-er.

Now let’s take a quick glance at the final product of the queens’ acting challenge.

Speaking of final product, I cannot believe there was an entire scene focused on Hannah pulling a cup from the toilet, the queens drinking it, the queens putting a cigarette into the mixture to make it taste better and then the girls drinking it again.

What the FUCK was going on in the Drag Race Down Under writing room?

Drag Race RuCap: Did We Just Witness One Of The Best Runways To Ever Grace The Show?
nightmare fuel.

Need I remind everyone how outraged Michelle was last season that Etcetera Etcetera used a bit of cheeky toilet humour and named a fragrance “Piss”?

In retrospect, it didn’t even look half as foul as this acting challenge did, and yet she was eliminated for it, while Hannah Conda was in the top for her performance.

RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under
I’m pissed.

Spankie however did an amazing job as the Russian/Italian/French/Australian/New Zealander prison inmate. I could watch her picking up the phone for HOURS.

Drag Race RuCap: Did We Just Witness One Of The Best Runways To Ever Grace The Show?
I don’t remember this scene from Saw.

Backstage is where all the real fun was cooking up, however, and by fun I mean more messy chaos.

Minnie and Pomara rehash their strange little feud for the cameras and it was not pretty.

But hey, if Beverly had the perfect reaction for the first feud and Hannah had one for the second, then it was Spankie who came through this time.

No more talking about this stupid drama, let’s enjoy Spankie’s reaction to it instead.

Drag Race RuCap: Did We Just Witness One Of The Best Runways To Ever Grace The Show?
same girl, same.

Spankie is declared the winner of the acting challenge (duh), proving that she is not the one to mess with this season.

It’s lipsync time and Kween Kong is chucked into the bottom with Aubrey Haive (the queen who this episode has absolutely revolved around).

The two lipsync to “I Touch Myself” by the Divinyls and have very different approaches. Surprisingly, there wasn’t a heap of sensual self-touching going on from either party.

Kween decided to do some insane flips and spins, while Aubrey aggressively fingered herself on the stage.

Drag Race RuCap: Did We Just Witness One Of The Best Runways To Ever Grace The Show?
my last two brain cells on a night out.

In the end, it was Aubrey’s on-stage masturbation that didn’t bring any pleasure to the judges.

Godspeed, Drag Race Down Under‘s COVID queen! You’ve only just started and yet you look so, so good. We can’t wait to see what comes next from you!

Drag Race RuCap: Did We Just Witness One Of The Best Runways To Ever Grace The Show?
me to my best friend when she wants to leave the club at 11pm.
Image: Stan.