New research says that cockroaches, the scum of this Earth, are becoming resistant to insecticide. This is probably the beginning of Armageddon, so you heard it here first.
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The research was published in Scientific Reports, and says that German cockroaches (the worst kind, fact) are basically becoming immune to fucking everything. According to 9 News, xperts at Purdue University said
“We conducted seminal field studies to compare three insecticide resistance intervention strategies for cockroaches and evaluated resistance evolution across multiple generations.”
The researchers weren’t fucking around – they tested three different insecticides on roach populations in four apartment buildings over a period of six months, with one group of cockies exposed to a single insecticide, another two insecticides from different classes and the third with three insecticides.
Then someone had to chase around live cockies to take back to the labs, which sounds like the worst bloody job in existence, no fucking thank you, science leader.
Here’s the horror finish – researchers concluded that all the insecticides were “mostly ineffective”, with roach populations either remaining stable or INCREASING “due to cross-resistance”. Hooooooo boy.
Basically, the offspring of female cockies were being born resistant to some of the insecticides, and given cockroaches are fuck machines who produce dozens of babies every few months, the cockroach population was being overturned real quick.
At this point it feels relatively factual (no) to say that cockroaches are just going to take over the world and our jobs within a few years. We should just start preparing for the inevitable and create some new jobs for them so they don’t take ours, no?
Thought starters:
- they can eat all our un-sustainable garbage, we’ll just put a lot of hot sauce on it so they don’t know
- get them to work in the sewerage systems! They love shit!
- carrying tiny pieces of wood to build tiny houses for the cockroach population
- also carrying tiny pieces of wood to build human houses, this may take 50 years per house.
- Re-boot Sale Of The Century but with cockroaches and steaming piles of garbage instead of golf carts and tropical holidays.
Just embrace the future, guys.
