Tom Hanks’ son Chet Hanks has managed to make headlines once again, only this time it’s because he’s genuinely convinced that “snowboarding”, “Billabong t-shirts” and the word “gnarly” are white culture.
If you know me at all, you’d know that I’d literally give my life for Tom Hanks, so I’m slightly upset to find out that it appears his son Chet spends his time trying justifying cultural appropriation by comparing a white person with dreadlocks to a Jamaican person wanting to snowboard.
This is the second time Chet has been accused of cultural appropriation, after he was filmed at the Golden Globes appearing to mimic Patois, despite being very much American and not at all Jamaican.
why is Tom Hanks' son Chet Hanks speaking patois? pic.twitter.com/mNh8ih8JhA
— Brittny Pierre (@sleep2dream) January 6, 2020
But he’s really upped the ante this week, responding to criticism in his “Chet Chat” Instagram videos.
“Let’s say there’s a Rastafarian with dreadlocks who grew up in Jamaica watching the X Games and Olympics… and said: ‘Hey man, I’d love to snowboard one day, that looks fun!’,” Chet began to ramble. “When he grows up, he takes a trip to Colorado and hops on snowboard… and falls in love with it. He wants to move to Colorado and wear Oakley shades and Billabong and totally get into the scene – play flip cup and beer pong and say: ‘Yeah dude! I was just shredding gnarling pow, just hitting huge kickers, busting threes, just shredding through the trees. It was fucking gnarly dude.’”
Ahh yes, I love my culture. Oakley shades and Billabong t-shirts are *definitely* an important part of “white” culture.
“Are white people supposed to get mad at him for appropriating their culture? How ridiculous would that be if white people were like ‘no, no, no, this is our culture’… so my question is how come it doesn’t work both ways?”
Naturally, people were quick to point out exactly how ridiculous this all sounded, and basically just said white people have no culture. Clearly, those people don’t understand the cultural significance of Oakley shades.
“People are saying white people have no culture. That to me, is confusing because just look at all the different varieties of European cultures like French people vs Swedish people vs German people.”
Pass this man a shovel because Chet Hanks is really digging himself into a hole here. If you thought “reverse racism” was bad, prepare yourself for reverse cultural appropriation.
No FUCKING body:
Chet Hanks: Okay so I cant wear grills and a durag and call you a porch monkey jiggaboo Sambo? Let’s flip that: imagine a Kenyan skateboarding.
— ???? Obeah Arthur ???? (@coochieprintz) February 5, 2020
In order for Tom Hanks to remain wholesome and pure, he had to personify every douchey and unlikeable part of his soul and give it life.
So protect Chet Hanks at all costs. https://t.co/ymqqYCZZnU
— Michael T Ford III (@MTFIII) February 5, 2020
Chet Hanks is really on IG talking about cultural appropriation, comparing a white person with dreadlocks to a Black Jamaican person wanting to snowboard……… pic.twitter.com/hrEuftPos5
— Hilary Banks (@soniamariesays) February 5, 2020
Yeah, so Chet Hanks decided to explain himself with some loose comparisons. He would have done better ignoring the criticism. Sometimes it’s good to just stfu. #HappyBlackHistoryMonth pic.twitter.com/eG7LDdf5Ce
— Queenie (@CurlyAfroQueen) February 5, 2020
In yet another brilliant display of intelligence & simpatico, Chet Hanks likens white people wearing dreadlocks & appropriating Rastafarianism to black people wearing oakleys and snowboarding (“white culture?”) ????
— Le Gateau Chocolat (@LeGateauChoc) February 5, 2020
Chet Hanks needs some education on cultural appropriation. He has no clue what he's talking about. pic.twitter.com/jKRH4XRBKo
— Kai (@kai_ady) February 5, 2020
Here’s hoping Tom Hanks’ sweet angel nature eventually rubs off on Chet.Image: Instagram / Chet Hanks