Ancient footage has emerged of Bryce Ruthven from Married At First Sight giving what can only be described as a woeful attempt at standup comedy back in 2013. Strap in, because it feels about as unfunny as it does racist.

This eight-year-old footage comes to us from the time capsule that is YouTube. It was filmed during Bryce’s days as a breakfast radio host in Victoria’s Gippsland region. (Un)luckily for us, the clip has resurfaced in the So Dramatic! Facebook group, so we can now watch Bryce’s routine in all its humourless glory.

If his behavior on MAFS wasn’t enough of an alarm bell, just listen to how he opens his standup comedy routine with a “joke” that’s lame even by 2013 standards.

“I’m a Black person that’s trapped inside a white person’s body,” Bryce, who was 24 at the time, says.

“I’m a big fan of ghetto music. Have you guys heard of Johnny Ruffo? He’d be my number one man. Timomatic, he’s up there as one of the best ghetto singers ever.”

It’s not exactly clear which part of that is supposed to be funny, but very quickly it descends into some kind of overdone pun about “Timber” by Pitbull ft. Kesha and Tinder, the dating app. Try to contain your laughter.

Bryce also joked about girls having to be drunk in order to buy his cheesy pick up lines and go him with him. Gross.

And it wouldn’t be a Z-list Aussie standup routine with a bit of racial incitement, courtesy of the 2005 Cronulla Riots, which were old news even back then.

“Does anyone remember the Cronulla Riots? Akmal might’ve been involved, I haven’t asked him but he is Middle Eastern so I’m not sure,” Bryce told the audience.

You know that ~fun fact~ about Cleopatra being alive closer to the present day than she was to the time when the pyramids were built? Well it’s the same story here: the Cronulla Riots were older back in late 2013 than Bryce’s stale standup routine is now.

Anyway, in case you needed yet another reason to hate the biggest MAFS villain of 2021, here you go. Enjoy.