In an increasingly bewildering age of NFTs and Dogecoin, there’s something refreshing about a good old-fashioned psycho celebrity memorabilia sale – and boy howdy, is this ever a psycho celebrity memorabilia sale!

According to a tip sent in to gossip Instagram @deuxmoi, some anonymous Hollywood hero has got their hands on a 20-year-old ten-minute audition tape of none other than Britney Spears auditioning for the lead role in The Notebook. The Notebook!!!

And, of course, they are attempting to flog said audition tape on eBay, for the low, low price of One Million American Dollars.

According to the listing, Britney’s audition took place on April 18th 2002, and apparently no-one ever really knew about it? I mean, that second part is simply untrue: it surfaced several years ago that the pop singer had tried out for the romance hit of the early Aughts. Ryan Gosling has even been quoted as saying Spears was “really good”, telling Entertainment Tonight in 2005:

I hadn’t seen her really since she was about 12—we were both 12—so she’s grown up, but she was really good, actually. She did a really nice job. We were 12, I don’t remember much from when I was 12, but yeah, no, she did an excellent job, actually. That was cool.

However, we certainly hadn’t seen any actual evidence of this extremely wholesome Mouseketeer reunion. UNTIL NOW!

The eBay listing helpfully includes pictures, presumably taken from the audition tape itself, of Britney and Ryan Gosling having a cute little cuddle and looking extremely young and vulnerable. The listing goes on to say:

RARE: Britney Spears Audition For “The Notebook” – ONE OF A KIND – ORIGINAL –

“The Notebook” made Rachel McAdams a star. Little does anyone know, Britney Spears also auditioned for the role! It’s never before seen, until now. It was recorded on April 18th, 2002 on Sony Hi8mm. Her audition (with Ryan Gosling reading) runs one second short of 10 minutes.

Own a piece of HISTORY!

PLEASE NOTE: THIS IS FOR PERSONAL USE ONLY! NOT TO BE SOLD OR DISTRIBUTED

Any questions…?

“Any questions”?! Yes! Plenty!! First of all, who are you and how did you get this tape! Second of all, a MILLION dollars? Third of all, who wants to pool their money with me because God in heaven I want to see this tape so bad.