Beauty and the Geek is back and you know what that means: it’s time to devote our evenings to crying at wholesome yet cringe first dates and screaming over geeks getting makeovers. But the show gracing our screens also beckons another activity; one that is more delicate and controversial in nature and requires superior detective skills.
We must deduce whether the sweet, gentle men we see before us are real-deal nerds or men who were just scouted walking out of an engineering lab at uni. It’s time for an extremely unofficial investigation.
I already know that you’re going to ask: “Are you going to be judging them based entirely on their physical appearance?”
And you know what? Yes. Yes, I am. The show truly hams up a particular geeky stereotype that we have all become accustomed to, with the little bowties and shaggy haircuts and ill-fitting khaki slacks — a notion I wholeheartedly disagree with.
But there are reports some of the blokes on Beauty and the Geek are actors. That’s right: rumour has it these men with kinda dorky interests were made to grow a scraggly beard and dress randomly in order to fit the mould of what our society believes a geek should look like, because they didn’t look conventionally nerdy enough.
My favourite thing about Beauty and the Geek is working out which Geeks are actually actors. #BATG
— Trending_Memes (@Trending_Memers) July 17, 2022
Casting process for Beauty and the Geek…Producer: “Would you be willing to grow a scraggly beard & forgo having a haircut for a month?….You’re in!” #BATG
— Colonel Kickhead (@colonelkickhead) July 17, 2022
I swear the production team found socially awkward but normal looking guys 6mths ago & told them to not shave or cut their hair until the show.#BATG
— Duneland🇦🇺 (@GlendaIkundi) July 17, 2022
I love how they intentionally make these geeks grow out their hair and beard before coming onto this show so that their makeovers look really good #BATG
— Lodz 🦋 (@sumwheresmiling) July 18, 2022
It is genuinely shocking stuff.
First up, we have Michael Gebicki. I know nothing about Michael except for the fact he has an Instagram Story highlight devoted to his cats — a green flag if there ever was one — and has appeared to deyassify himself for the show.
I present to you Michael in 2019, dressing up for something called “Secret Garden Festival”. A stereotypically nerdy thing to do, yes, but his hair is short and looking rather dashing, with not an ounce of facial hair in sight.
Fast forward to 2021 and Michael is rocking an extremely normal outfit for what appears to be a Mother’s Day celebration. The hair is still short and the facial hair is non-existent.
Now, March 2022 is where it starts getting interesting. Michael references the fact that his hair has grown and he’s also sporting a beard, which he has literally never rocked according to Instagram (except for this outlier in 2018).
And then a few months later he drops the bomb that he’ll be starring in Beauty and the Geek.
INTERESTING.
Next, we move onto Sam Mitchell. I present to you exhibit A from November 2020.
This man with boofy, trendy hair is just living his best life out on the town.
Next, exhibit B from May 2021.
I think this man gave me my shoes at Hype DC once.
Now, we must examine exhibits C and D from June 2022.
I don’t know where to start. The bucket hat. The oversized black tee. The coiffed hair.
And lo and behold, a mere month later, he’s a contestant on Beauty and the Geek wearing a mismatched op shop fit and chucking a peace sign.
Sam is a “esports champion”. I don’t know what that is but he has posted photos of himself commentating games, which people might say is a quintessentially dorky thing to do.
I am not here to yuck someone else’s yum. Despite the headline, it literally is not my place to question whether the men on Beauty and the Geek are actors or genuine nerds.
It is, however, within my purview to examine whether these men rebranded for a reality show because their true, authentic selves weren’t “geeky” enough.
Is this Beauty and the Geek or guys I would lust after on Smith St? pic.twitter.com/oEQnsIpQEt
— Exhausted Spice (@exhaustedspice) July 17, 2022
Your outer shell should not dictate whether or not you are a geek, for it is a mindset. The most gorgeous, glamorous women in the world could be Dungeon Masters in Dungeons & Dragons, while the biggest Napoleon Dynamite-ass man could be an underground house DJ who moonlights as a tattoo artist in Fitzroy.
Michael should be allowed to wear his hair short and be without facial fuzz if he so desires and Sam doesn’t need to chuck his streetwear in the bin and raid his closest Good Sammy.
Maybe they both willingly changed their appearances, in which case disregard literally every single thing I have said. But if they were forced to change themselves, I urge the producers of Beauty and the Geek to expand their horizons and realise that being a geek isn’t about what you look like but rather what’s in your heart. It’s a mindset.
